it's just so funny how friendship works isnt it?
one day u re his best-est friend who knows everything bout her..
then came his dream gal.. u re no longer the first person he would thought of..
then the break up that almost killed him..
u were there.. at least u try to be there for him..
then he found his new frens.. alas, u re forgotten..
no more long distance calls just to update about his day..
no more text telling u how bad was his day..
u re forgotten...
no longer in his mind..
till one day, when he needs u again..
maybe.. u wont even be on his friend list anymore..
this is what u call friend..
lol..





started working ytd..
everything was ok..
but i felt stupid then..
coz i din knw where to get the clothes..
then.. all the folding and rolling makes me headache..
hahhaa..
anyway, i did enjoy working..
at least i wont be sleeping and C.S.I-ing at home the whole day!!

so ytd,
after work arnd 7,
zw came pick me up then we headed to permas for dinner..
permas and town it's like 20 minutes away..
and permas from my house it's like 45 minutes away..
anyway, the point is permas is reli far..
so.. we park our car by the beach.. (having a famous nasi lemak at the beach)
then we were so happy coz it was a gd parking site..
we went out of the car and then only found out that the shop was close!!
damn it!!
si we went back and guess wat??
the car cannot start!!!!!!!!!
and a whole lot of this and that happened..
then i finally got home and fell into deep sleep..
lol..
daddy needs his laptop back..
so i'll tell u the story when i see u..
chaos...

=)

heheh
i am waaaayyyy too free now..
could do anything i like wit money of course.. lol..
so since i am broke.. staying at home blogging seems to be the only thing i could do now.. lol..
ok..
finals have finally ended last wed..
i swear i felt like crying when the clock was showing 2 40 pm...
finally.. evrything... sam has ended..
i thought i did better than trials..
hopefully my results would turn out to be good.

straight after my chem paper..
i got a ride from sam and he sent me to pyramid's bus stop..
and i arrive jb aorund 9...
felt so happy to be at home...
hang out wit my long yi.. lol.. brought me to shogun for jap buffet... *yummy!!!*
then.. uncle and family came from sg for dinenr at my place..
ever since my grandma left us, we haven been spending much time together..
miss grandma so much...

went to the dentist with zw on sunday..
and he gave me a ride home...
<3

then came back yestday..
packed my stuff
and was sent to my uncle's place today..
went shopping wit pei yi ytd and spent so much money...
hehe..

ok ok .. i knw this entry is kind of bored..
hehe.. but... wat to do?? eng not good MAR~haha..
prom tmr and i am back to jb again!!!
gonna start working next mon~

yeah...
u guys can come see me in cs..
will be working in levi's
=)

隐私被侵犯了
那时什么样的感觉？
赤裸裸的感觉，
羞耻，愧疚又带点发怒
之因为真正的你被人知道了
你所想隐藏的一面被人看见了
只能用愤怒来掩饰你的不安

那侵犯别人的隐私
又感觉如何？
有点刺激，懊悔，
明明知道不对却忍不住想知道
贪婪。。。

部落格里的是自己吗？
那个别人都认识的自己吗？
还是一个想呈现在别人面前那个惹人爱的人？
我们有多诚恳 不知道
只是很多时候我们写的跟现实生活中是不一样的人
我们那么不知不觉地在以为自己就是手上一字一句写的自己
然而真正放不下，自私，斤斤计较的也正是我们没有发现的自己
一直认为只要别人没有说出你的缺点不代表你是个好人
只有当你开口问，才会知道原来自己的缺点
可是，原意面对与承认自己缺点的又有几个？
承认了原意改变那才叫勇敢

你真的知道你是谁吗？

it's about time to blog right??
felt that ppl that used to tell me evrything now, doesnt seems to be trusting me anymore???
then ppl that i always trusted.. doesnt gv me the sense of secure..
i hate it when u re toking to someone and that person doesnt respond..
aih...
too many things happening and i donno who to tok to



is it a curse or wat..
everytime i hv major exam. i'll fall sick.....
damn..

什么时候
我忘了大哭后的解脱

一直认为你不是什么
认为只要不曾为你掉过一滴 就不算爱过
认为只要对我比以前好一些 就不会要求
认为只要我一直再对你好 就够了

只是认为的是自己对自己的谎言
还是为你找的完美借口
对我至少没那么伤

当眼泪决堤了 原来爱过
当受伤了 原来一直都没变
当心寒了 原来你不曾了解有多好

一句抱歉都没有
眼泪决堤了 原来爱过

心纠了一下
你说的是我吗？
我喜欢 一直都很喜欢你
你误会了吗？
有时候口不择言
你懂吗？
真的只是说说而已

该说什么

我想你 很想你

其实我懂你在想什么
只是你一直都不说
担心我 会出意外
所以都不敢要我回去
虽然见面的几率就0.1巴仙
可是我想 总好过没有吧

谢谢你

CONFESSION


ok ok..
i hv a confession to make..
all these while. i did not mention this on my blog..
ok i gotta admit..
i've been clubbing in kl all this while..

probably not sth special for all of u out there..
as in u g uys might be.. "cheh... i tot wat.."
but it does need courage to tok about this in front of all my frens..
coz ppl hv been labelling..
clubbing=evil..

so how do u define evil?? or.. hmm... cant think of a proper word to describe.. but i guess the norm is..
when a gal goes clubbing..

she drinks
she gets drunk
she dance with strangers
she sleeps wit strangers
she gets involve in drugs
she is wasting her time
she doesnt go for classes
she smokes
she would know "bad guys" and get involve in their life
bla bla bla...
all sorts of assumption would be made
and the conclusion is..
she is a bad gal..

of all above,
i only drink..
coz i hv to admit i like de taste of liquor
and that's all..
i wont get drunk coz..... pls read back one of my post..
yea..
and u know.. i somehow just couldnt stand ppl that i donno touching me..
so strngers don even get to dance wit me AT ALL..

i protect myself when i club..
and the reason i like clubbing..
coz i get to see ppl..
how the way they behave.. attitude..
don believe me??
u just hv to...

i went to rumms with shi jen last night..
just the two of us..
i din drink much coz we cant afford to get a bottle..
so i just took a few sips or beer... " i still prefer liquor"
we were sitting at the bar..
looking at the ppl around us..
for the first time,
i felt empty..
i hv no idea why am i sitting there wasting my time..
hurting myself.. as in drink..
-but i reli reli reli don drink a lot.. coz i am still a beginner.. -
i look at the ppl around me..
why re they here?
to get to know new ppl?
to show of how gd they look??
for me.. i was there becoz of shi jen.. my best buddy!!
he wanted to meet a gal. so i acc him..
wat about these ppl around me.. they come for the same reason??
i donno..
i just felt empty and i should quit..
but i know.. i was just thinking.. coz i couldnt resist the chance for me to 'know'(observe) diff ppl..
u probably think that this is just an excuse..
well.. i donno.. maybe u re right..

anyway.. for those who re worried for me..
don be..
coz i don drink from strangers..
i am a "proud" gal when i go clubbing..
i don talk to any of the strangers..
i don get drunk..
and.. yea.. in conclusion.. i reli reli try very hard to protect myself coz i don wan anything to happen to me coz i don wan my parents to be worry..
do they know?? of coz they don..

so u guys should know wat to do..
keep it from ur parents!! lol..
u know..
i nvr thought that this is anything that i should be proud of..
i reli don..
that's why i've nvr mention 'clubbing'

the truth is i was ashamed..
i know i couldnt take it when ppl think of me as someone which i am not..
but i know.. one day..
someone will know..
and yea..
at least i tell u guys what's happening to me..

promise promise promise
i promise
i wont go as often ..
i'll just study till my final ends..
ok??

love u lots!!!
<3



the hardest part of this confession is..
who my parents re..
so i reli sincerely hope u guys would help me..

i couldnt rmb who
btu someone. recently..
we were talking about this..
we nwere saying taht why arent we like all those rich brats..
they get wat they want every time
they don hv to worry about how much they spend coz their parents can afford..
yes indeed.. envious.. or perhaps jealousy..

but..
we know.. i know.. they might be fulfil materially..
but i hv a loving family..
i hv ppl that care for me..
i am glad i am brought up well..
maybe not too gd to CERTAIN ppl..
but yes.. i know i would always try to be nice and polite to everyone..

i am glad.. that i am not as rich as some of the others.
at least i know about how the life of being not so rich is like..
i am exposed to cheap and nice probably not so healthy food..
but still it's nice.. i've known ppl from diff background..
the mafia, the nerds, the poor, the bimbos, the fun..
i reli do know a lot of ppl..

and now i am here..
kl...
the glamourous place to be in..
i admit i am vain..
i am materialistic..
but am glad that i hv strong moral values instilled in me..
at least i am not rotten.. YET u might say..
but i donno..
i've known the really rich.. models.. sluts... and oso pampered brats that doesnt know a thing about how simple life can be..
u don need tons of branded stuff to look gd.. u don hv to care about how ppl label u.. as long as u know the moral values that u re holdign on is strong.. u re reli "EXPENSIVE" lol..
u guys gotta understand that my english is reli reli bad..

i always believe that getting sth means that u re losing sth..
we may not be as rich as they re..
but we hv a happy family..
we re exposed to diff ppl and culture..

oh shit...
i am repeating my points
haha..
wrong format for essay...
k..
i cant think of etra points
will add in when i can think
gd nigth...

"you don seem like u brought anything with you.."
"yes. i didnt bring my bag along"
"wat about ur id?"
*petting pocket* *show id*
" so ur bday is a day after valentines?"
"yea" *smiling*





been having headache since last night..
is it because of stress??
i donno..
omg..
it's relil killing me..
not feelign well the whole day..
miss my darling.. he told me not to go back..
raya's higer rate of accident..
i hate headache.
feel like puking now..
damn...
i need someone to be with me now...

i need a job
i need a job
i need a job..

went to loaf wit paul and cheryl last night..
a night which i doubt i would forget ever..
and i would say.. i was glad to be there..
got to know some reli famous ppl in town..
i was so ignorant that i didnt know he was so famous till i google-ED his name online..
i bet i can sell his number for some money when i am desperate..
hahahaha...
but of coz i wont do that.. haha.. he was nice to me.. how could i do that to him..
blah.. wat eva.. don ask me who coz u wont believe it anyway..
maybe u might think that i am just bullshitting but who cares?? i know i am telling the truth..
i donno why.. some how.. i kept thinking of him.. he reli makes me think a lot.. thinking as in reli think not the missing type..
well.. i donno how to express how i feel now..
just that.. he gave me a special feeling.. haha..... sound like some gal that just had a crush..
but.. no no no.. he's just special.. in a way..

oh man.. i donno wat am i writing.. so don bother to ask..






ok ok..
went for prom dress shopping again today..
i've finally got mine..
paul and cheryl said i should alter it..
so.....
will see la.. see if i can afford alteration.. haha..
and depends on my mood...
yu wen lost her watch today..
she accidentally left it in the fitting room and when we went back for it. i wasnt there anymore..

i was actually kinda pissed..
that idiotic person that took that away must be a very selfish person i'd say..
imagine u lost sth that is important to u..
hoiw would u feel??
why cant she think before she took that watch away..
be considerate..
at least try to put urself into other ppl's shoes..

or if i look it in another perspective,
she must be a poor and desperate woman...
becoz she cant afford to get her own watch..
pity her then...

we re all like this arent we??
we do things and forgot about how the others would feel..
we re plain selfish admit it..
i guess i do agree wit FREUD's theory..
human are drive by their ID
we re selfish and don care about how others feel..
we try to be polite, nice
but the truth is.. we just care for ourselves.




2 o clock in the morning and i don think i know wat i wrote ealier..
so yeah... i'll go to bed now...........
good night..

haha...
finally "in the mood" to blog..
lol..
updates about my week...

1/10/2007


ying zhen and i went for CHUCK and LARRY
great movie..
i like the circle part...
a mariage is like a circle.. there's no beginning and no end..
it is not like a triangle.. no diagonal..
hahahhahahahaha... lame pastor..

2/10/2007


esther and i went for this freshlook thingy just for the sake of the free contacts!!
lol...


esther, karyan, qian hui,yz and i went for prom dress shopping!!


it was esther's first time on the monorail!



a long day we had..
but buy nth..
esther found herself a great dress..
red..
STUNNING i'd say


3/10/2007
digi man in college!!


took a long nap at home then a late night movie and spent my night in py's house..





4/10/2007
esther was caught sleeping on the bench in the cafeteria..
pig...


and it was also our last experiment for SAM



chromatography

yes!!
the colour of SMARTIES











how could we not chamwhore for the one last time??!!


5/10/2007
nothing much today..

a stupid cat sleeping under the table like nobody's business..


and a last vb training..








i shall now end wit
PEI HWA's ASS

i freaking hate my hair....
why it doesnt grow longer!!!!???

had dinner wit pei inn, xinyi and si yi ealier..
she told me not to blog..
but i amso tempted to blog..
hahah...
not gonna write much just a test that i did
so what do u say bout the results??

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2007年开学了
来到了新的环境
有了新的同学 新的朋友
我是个念旧的人
不喜欢重新认识新的朋友 种下新的友谊种子
因为我知道真心对你的人真的不多
而且，还没来到这里就先听说这里的人有多现实
到了
整班都是女生
我知道今年大家都不会有多开心
勾心斗角的日子有了

真的不出我所料
一开始的友善渐渐变成了同学闹分组
日子久了也都知道每个人的个性怎样

对我来说没有什么影响
因为我从来没有太过信任任何人
只因为想保护自己
在课室里我不属于任何一组的朋友
虽然偶尔会感到寂寞
但是拨通电话 姐妹就会在身边

困扰不会太大
虽然不相信任何人
我却不曾待人不诚恳
我一直都认为 只要你对别人好，人家就会对你好
可是很多时候
想的跟说的不一样
说的又跟做的不一样
希望的总是会落空
因此我们不再对任何人有任何期许

所以当我说我在这里没有朋友的时候
请不要感到讶异

最近又个女生跟闹别扭
虽然不是很清楚原因
可是她却不像根我说话
而且对我好的同学也被她排挤
我可怜的朋友
呵呵
真是委屈她了
我真的不明白为什么这么讨厌我
不过我个人也不喜欢她哈哈
单纯因为觉得她自以为是
不诚恳
常常看不起别人
或许是我自己对她有偏见
不过 我自己认为对她还蛮不错的

而且 我跟他的深仇大恨
全班同学都看透了
而且谁对我好
她就不爽谁
真是抱歉了各位

找一天。。。。 一天
会跟她摊牌的
在说吧




生病了整个人是闷的咯。。。。。。
穷人不能生病啊！！

how does it feel like to be dead...
re u afraid of death?
yes.. i do..
i really do..
i always imagine the moment before u re dead..
would be the worse moment of ur life..
thinking of u would leave everyone u love..
and u don hv the time to say gd bye..
ur family..
what will they do withoiut you?
perhaps u re not so important..
but somehow.. i guess.. someone out there will be sad..
u don wanna see them cry becoz of u..
i guess.. u wont get to rmb a thing.. after u close ur eyes and nvr open it again...
i'm a kia siu person..
will try to protect myself..
i don wan myself to get hurt..
coz anything might ahppen anytime..
one moment u re sitting in coffe bean drinking coffee. and the next second u might just die in an accident..
tell the ppl u love that u love them before u regret..
tell them they mean a lot to them..
i do..
i tell my parents i love them..
my friends mean a lot to me..
i cant forget how my granma just left like thnat
she promise tat we will celebrate CNY together
but she left..
i hate the feeling of ur love one leave u...
so..
cherish every moment..
before it is too late..

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说
***************************************
不知道为什么
每次听到这首歌
心总是纠一下
会很心疼
虽然自己没有这样的经验
可是总觉得
女孩会很痛吧
自己心爱的男人离她而去
需要多少的勇气去接受他们的恋情
需要多少的勇气接受他已经不爱她
是心痛的咯。。。。。

一大清早起床
喉咙痛到不行
要生病了我想说
再睡一下吧

40分钟后
电话响起
是我宝贝起床了吗？
打开简讯
“龙一出车祸了。。 进医院你知道吗？”
我马上从被单里冲起来。。
打了电话给巧双结果她不清楚什么事
挂了电话马上拨给龙一却不通
无敌紧张的
赶快写了简讯给他要他回电话
过后又试着打给他
接通了

我却不知道该问些什么
车严重损伤
人脚受伤了
担心
真的担心

中二就认识了龙一
总是对我很好
尤其今年来到了kl
他几乎天天都打来陪着我
回新山也会见我
带我出去吃好吃的
去玩
我好像又多了一个哥哥
被疼的感觉是爽的

现在他出事了真的很希望自己能赶回去看他
唉。。。
保重亲爱的
希望你会没事