hey.. penguin..

for the first time, i feel like telling you, from the bottom of my heart. i really do miss u a lot.

even if u wont see this. even if u do not know u mean so much to me.

you really do mean a lot to me..

these few days have been quite shit-ish for me..
got so hurt when he said we were only gd frens.
then calling off my own farewell party.. damn..
and..
anyway
everything just doesnt seems to be right just before i leave....

tears.. pls go away..

2 months ago,
i've just sat for my finals..
and now..
in a week time.. i am flying off...
went to changi to see nick off last night..
he was so lucky that we went to see him off..
i mean like, for me maybe only poor dhanish will be there.. lol..
and sometimes, i just felt like i am so pathetic.
leaving so soon and i am planning my own farewell party and i don even know if they are coming..
hahaha..... that's damn sad...
and my bf... doesnt even hv the time to acc me just before i leave....












hey u!
i donno when u will see this but saying u miss me is not so hard right?
haha...

so broken...

so hurt...

i thought i know u..

but i don..

u re sitting next to me but it felt so far...

the distance between us...

hv u ever tried to understand my feelings?

or am i not gd enough for u?





i wanna leave..

away from you..

i donno what to say after everything u've said to me.
am i suppose to step back?
re u telling me we will not be together?
or re u telling me it's just a statement?
but it was meant for everyone isnt it?
which means i am included...
will be pls gv me a clear answer so i will know what to do...
i understand and i wont force u..
but i need u to tell me what to do...

u knw i hate the dial tone every time u make a call..
" tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut the number u hv called cannot be reached at the moment pls try again later"

7 times of "tut-tut" exactly 7 times.
i am so familiar wit that and i hate to know that i am familiar with this
which means i hv been calling
again and again
so many times and nobody answers my call...

or maybe he will answer and tell u i am busy...
does that make a difference?
sometimes. .

i hate to wait
but eventually
i've turn into a patient person coz i wait
for hours for days for months and maybe for years..


will u pls answer my calls?

终于有华文了
是想念的

要飞了

难过

was reading rachel's blog earlier...
i have to say

i miss college!!!

i really do miss college.
i rmb the first day i went to college..
i wore a green top. i came in alone. all by myself into the class.
then months later... we were all talking about the first day of college and guess what? my classmates actually rmb what i wore..
hahaha..
tho it's nothing special but i donno. just felt like i am not that ordinary afterall... hahahhaa.... i know it's damn childish.. but don u love it when ppl notice u? i hv to admit. i like the way i felt.

then.. was getting to know all the classmates..
those that were smart, noisy, annoying, big time liar, show off ones, funny ones, drama queen, the dancer and smartass, the only guy... the teachers..
everyone was so special.. so mad.. so fun.. so nice.. so interesting..
it's a waste if u don get to know these ppl...

3rd step is how crazy our class was..
ignoring lectures... complaining about everything... gosips
then the food... asia cafe, market, tuna twist, salmon steak, top man, and the shop opposite ac i cant rmb the name. burger king, drink testing in starbucks, mc d....
everywhr we went. was truly memorable...
hahhaa... sound like some old stories...
then come charity day, sam fiesta, teachers day, prom......
until prom... i still couldnt believe that time just flies like tat....
just like tat....


mrs param always the nice and strict one..
ms shoba the one that nvr fails to make us laugh...
ms ng that always got pissed off because of my stupid questions
hahaha...
ms doh the crazy maths teacher.. hahaha.. but super nice..
then come mrs lian..... erm..... erm.... no comment...
in conclusion! we had the greatest teachers ever!!
i am so going to miss annoying ms ng during her class....
hahhahaa....


i really really enjoyed my college life!
i wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be...
lol... it actually turn out to be super fun...
wit all the running away ffrom classes..
hanging out in the cafeterria....

how i wish i'd never grow....

16th of feb...

9th of feb standby.

leaving soon...........

damn it..
why cant they make up their mind?
just choose one place!
i'll stay or leave!
easy...
damn.............



had shogun wit long yi for lunch!
kimchi steamboat is as good as ever.. *yummy*
for those who reli enjoy eating japanese food.
it's really worth it!!
coz it's buffet style u can eat all u want
and it doesnt matter if u cant finish...
hahaha...

then he decided to hv a hair cut..
we headed holiday plaza..

haven been there for many years.
and it's really not that bad
nice place to shop..
=))


and guess who i met!!
my long lost darling!!!!!
hahaha...
ah zong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's still the lovely brother i used to know.
he was really busy, thus had not enough time to catch up wit him.
but he might be going to penang!
which means
we will hv two nights to talk about evrything
hahahhaha..


k...
just to update..
gtg...


don reply my msg!!
u die la u....
hmph!!
=p

i felt like a fool

i thought he would be waiting for my call

i thought he would be missing me.

i htought he care if i don call

but he was busy.

he only talks to me when i call.

i am not so important afterall.

maybe he was hinting me, telling me stop calling.

or maybe i was just too sensitive.

wahahahaha....

h

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2
0

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8

tell me u don love new year and i'll slap u!!

ahahhaha...

it has come to the end.
2007 has been a year...
phew...

finally gaining back some self confidence on my studies..
i did better than last year for my studies.
tho i was still having fun,
but i am really lucky to do well in my studies.
maybe u ppl would think that it's not that gd compared to those that scored 90 and above.
but, i really glad that i at least reached my target.
=)

am really hoping that next year.
i would do even better.
coz i am quite sure will hv less fun there.
hahaha..
will be staying wit my aunt.
high expectation from them and my family.
so hv to reli reli do well for my degree....


glad that i went to taylors this year.
at least my english is improving.
and get to knw some reli nice ppl from all around malaysia
having absolutely fun classmate.
lovely roomates...
and the gal......................... Pei YI!!!!
haha..

but generally,
i think it's quite a fuck up life this year.
drinking, clubbing, shopping.
wasting lots of money..
damn...
and i did sth that i could ever forgive myself
it's against my religion and my parents teaching.
not gonna make it clear here.

i could hv do better this year..
but..
i screwed up...

totally screwed up....

i hope that i'll will be stronger next year.

will and faith and trust.

2008..

here i come!

i

m
i
s
s

u










if u cant hear what i said last night.











complication.
makes life beautiful.

so broken..
i never knew it was going to be this hard.
i thought leaving was just a matter of time and i'll walk away without looking bad.
i didnt know that i would cry so hard.
so hard till my eyes still hurt now.
it has been so long since i felt so hurt. so sad. so......
i thought he did not mean anything to me..
i could live without him.
ha..
so silly of me....

u've been too busy
working..
working working is everything u know..

tho i am leaving soon
but u don care do u?

how is it like to fall for someone that u've never met for the past 3 years?
in just one day.

it just changes everything..

everything..

she's pretty and smart...
a future doctor..
tall and rich..
kind and nice and everyone loves her..
who am i to be compare to her..










life hasnt been easy ever since i came back from melb
working..
getting my results..
quit from working...
then makin a decision where to go..
complicated relationship that i am into...
damn...
it's just so annoying...

finally got my results.
and it turn out just as i expected..
it's ok...
not too good or too bad..
i know my standard and with the time i started studying..
yea.. so it's just ok...
that's all i can expect..
at least i c an get into any uni with that results...
thank god i am not doing medicine or sth..
coz my results is definitly not good enough..
hahaha...
anyway.. i am reli happy with it..
for a person that was never a hard worker...
i am reli glad that i did well..
hahahhahahahhahahhahahhahhahahhhaahaha..... *extremely happy*

say bye bye to LEVI'S
the lazy me decided to sttop working
and i am like reli irresponsible
coz i just without telling them earlier..
feel rel bad..
but i have to go for sign language practise and preparation for uni...

You Are Iris

You are an interesting blend of fun and wisdom. You definitely make people think about themselves and their place in the world. But they'll have fun doing it. You definitely epitomize laughter therapy. You are a very enriching and entertaining friend!

What Color Purple Are You?

it's 12.09 am in melb now..
am sitting in front of the computer trying to update u guys about my trip herre...

first about the jeans..
ppl... if u think i get special discount?? sorry i don!!
and me myself i don even own one pair of Levi's jeans.. hahhaa.. eventho my boss has been hinting me..
hahahhaa..


okok
on the 5th.. arrived in the morning.
then we went back to my aunt's place
had suppeerrr nice lunch in a vietnam restaurant!!
and the portion was sooooooooooo big and i couldnt finish...
but it was reli reli good
i had this tomatoe pork noodle!! yummm yummm..
so basically that day we just rest at home due to jet lag.
it's summer here and it's like 3 hours ealier in melb..

then ytd,
we went to de city by train..
visited the musuem and then met up wit william
and i had a very very very very special and nice day wit him
i enjoyed myself so much and i reli hope that he did enjoyed himself..
=)

so today..
was in philip island whr it doesnt feel like summer at all..
almost freeze to death..
hahaha..
saw de perfect sea view and the cutest cutest penguin ever..
basically i enjoyed myself so mch here and i reli hoped that time would just stop...
hehe..
but i still miss msia tho....
wait for me ppl...
will beb ack next fri and u'll get to see me in levi's on sat if u do miss me!!!
hahahhaha...
chaos..