simply me

2008-05-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

it's time to get a new blog.
coz i hate this one.
hate the skin
cant change it.
damn.
so..
yes.

new blog.

www.jynjiani.blogspot.com

2008-05-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

hey u.

this is me. Jyn. this is sth just for u.
u may not know that i've wrote this to u and u may not see this. ever.
but somehow. i feel i have to tell u about my feelings.

it was great knowing u. it was great to be wit u.
every time i think of all those little things that u said to me.
all those little things u've done for me.
and all those moments of us together.
all those kissing and hugging.
i felt like i was in love again.
u meant so much to me.
u still do..
coz i cant seem to let it go

it was all so unbelievably fabulous.
the relationship
you and i.
i was unbelievable
u were fabulous.

but it wasnt great at all when u tell me that u donno if u will love me.ever.
it wasnt great at all when u tell me u somehow didnt feel anything for me all of a sudden.
and i felt like shit when u said all u thought of was if i was going to call u. instead of i miss u.

and then.
i knew i had to make a decision.
i know i was selfish . because i don wanna get hurt in the end.
eventho it was so hard.
i had to go. coz i was a chicken.
love takes courage. but i wasnt brave enough.

then i left.
here came another guy.
and he left.
i was left alone again.

then
i saw u.
i thought of u.
i talked about u. all the time.
to everyone.

and i realise.
i finally realise. i have been hurting u.
all this time.

i broke up wit u.
another guy.
and. i called u ignorant and stupid.
i was mean to u.
i am sorry.
i really am.

i just wanted u to know that i have move on.
that i can still be ur fren.
coz i wan to.
but i didnt realise that what i did, what i said.
it was so harsh.
it did hurt didnt it?

will u ever tell anyone it hurt?
will u ever mention it to anyone how u feel?

u used to tell me everything about u.
everything.
u believed in me.
u trusted me.
and i've shattered ur dreams.
the last gal. u said.
there will be no one else.

now that i realise ive hurt u so much.
i donno what to do
what to say.
coz u wont admit even if u do.
or maybe u really don gv a shit about it.

anyway
if i did hurt u.
i am sorry
i really am.

i am sorry.

*unbelievably fabulous*

2008-05-28T04:57:00.000-07:00

i miss the sushine!!

i was browsing through my pictures and i saw this one!!
this was taken in gold coast.
the sun makes me smile!!

cant wait to go home to see my sunshine in msia!!

2008-05-25T04:42:00.000-07:00

爱是什么？
什么时候爱的价值变得那么廉价？

你说你爱我？！
不是不愿相信只是爱得有点早。。
因为质疑所以不信

短短的两天里你能勇敢地说我爱你吗？
我做不到

曾经有一次跟一个交往不到两天的对象
他开车把我送到了车站
说再见的时候
' thanks hunny. u drive carefully. i love u.'
是。
我爱你就不经意地脱口而出
接下来的几个小时都在懊恼要怎么向他解释

朋友
对我真的很重要
当我说我爱你
我想说谢谢你
我真的很感激有你在身旁
我真的感谢你在我需要的时候陪着我
我的我爱你是有价值的

而家人的爱
与其说是爱
不如说是一种责任
那种远远超过了爱的责任
这份爱有多重要？？
你一辈子都需要这份爱

男女之间的爱？
是不是太早了呢？
有多久没有真心地说我爱你了？
我真的不知道
我知道甚至是我喜欢你
都需要很大的勇气。。

因为了解了爱的定义
所以变得很沉重
不得轻易说出

你爱谁呢？

2008-05-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

i googled one night stand. and this is what it was shown.

yeap yeap yeap..

jyn is gonna talk bout one night stand tonight..

hehe..

hv u ever had one night stand?

have u ever kissed a random in a club?

hv u ever found urself drunk in someone else's arm?

nope nope nope.

other than the fact that i was once kissed by some guy i met from the club, but i pushed him away. eventho i found out he was so hot later on. ahaha..

anyway..

in any condition at all.

i will not say yes to any of the above.

first of all.

to me,

kissing is sth very very intimate.

it is sth really special to me.

i've seen ppl kissing in a club.

and they were just kissing gd bye.

it was just their way of 'communication'.

it is not just kiss on the cheeks.

it's french kiss.

it's the type of kiss only for the one u like.

i wonder how they do it.

i probably feel disgusted kissing someone random.

i rmb,

i felt disgusted when i hv to share a drink or a towel with my fren.

but i feel it was ok if i share a towel with my bf..

and kissing is the same to me..

it's just sth tat's too personal..

when there is no kissing

don even talk about having one night stand.

i hv frens that do that.

arent they afraid of std?

and what if the gal they re fucking are bad kisser?

what if they suck on bed?

sex is sth so.. so.. so... much more special than anything else.

it is meant for ppl with feelings. not just randoms..

and pls.

drunk is not a gd excuse at all.

i always think that no matter how drunk u re.

it is not possible that u wont rmb a thing at all..

no matter how drunk u re.

u re always still be able to think. use ur brain.

u gotta be self-discipline.

to control ur urge for a kiss or sex.

pls ppl.

use ur brain.

it's just an excuse when u say u cant think.

it's just an excuse for them to take advantage of u.

hv u ever watched knocked up??

she got pregnant because of one nigth stand

and in reality,

fairy tales will not happen.

there will nvr be happily ever after.

especially a guy that is sooo bad quality.

pls.

don even try to come near me if u look like shit.

yes.

i am very very particular about looks

u can call me a bitch or whatever u like.

but if i think i don like how u look.

we will only be frens.

just frens.

don even think of holding me in ur arms

anyway.

if i was pregnant

i would rather hv an abortion

a baby of a stranger??

hell no!!

the consequences are just to serious for me to do anything stupid.

what if he is a married man and u din know?

what if he is a AIDS carrier?

std?

no no no no no..

think ppl

think..

eventho abortion is an option

but trust me.

it's not gonna be fun at all...

think

think.

vivian

re u proud of me?

i went clubbing once the week before last.

din go last week

and might not go this week..

i kept my promise..

2008-05-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

shit.
i tried to change my blogskin
and it ended up looking like shit.
might change to the other blog..
coz i hate the skin and it cannot be undo.
damn..

so..
guys ive lost all my blog links..
pls just leave in the tag box.
wit ur name and link.

shit shit shit
shit happens all the time..

2008-05-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

SHIT!
just changed my blog skin..
'sibeh' red..
lol..
but i like it coz the writing is so big now.. hehe..
anyway..
i am not gonna change it until i feel like it.

hmm...
finally free from my assignments.
then again,
we re pretty lost when we hv no idea what to do.

so..
exam is in a month time
and a crazy 2200words of assignment due on the same time..
guess i shld start woking on it soon..

hv a nice weekend peeps~~

2008-05-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

home sweet home.

here i come!!

1ST JULY

2008-05-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

so i came across this show recently.

it's call MALAYSIAN DREAMGIRL

and..

apparently it's Malaysia version of America's next top model .

i didnt really watch the series and everything.

but i was just looking at it's official website.

and was browsing through some of the episodes.

then i realise.

it's been so long since i last listen to ppl speaking in Malaysian-accent eng.

with all the 'la', 'lo', 'and-then-hor', etc..

not trying to be critic or anything

just that my frens and i were talking about this accent thing.

we re now picking up all the aussie accent.

and it felt so weird when i listen to them again.

i rmb when i first came here.

my frens- aussie couldnt really understand what i was saying. because of the accent.

then. after 3.. tHree months of practise. not tree..

i am finally speaking proper english and still find it hard to express myself some

of the times.

about the 3..

when i was back in msia

i was so used to pronounce it as TREE..

then there was once, a fren of mine from UK was making fun of me.

he was like to me, JYN is tHRee. with the H.. not tree..

i tried to correct it so many times but it didnt really go well.

and i thought no one would notice.

then..

yoshi came to me and said, JYN, is tHRee..

then came Justin and Kevin...

it's T-HHHH-REE

so..

it was pretty embarassing when that happened.

and i realised i probably should really think about pronouncing it correctly.

lol..

so now i am able to pronounce THREE.. hahaa..

okok.. cut the crap.

the point is.

when re we

going to start speaking in proper english?

the others cant bloody understand what we are saying??!!

and some of us are so proud with the fact that we speak our own language- in our own accent-

WTF?!!

polictics is a too sensitive of a issue to be disscuss here.

so...

ok ok ..

the thing is.

speaking proper proeper english is so important than u can imagine.

it's not about ur so-called TRUE MALAYSIANIDENTITY

it's more of sth that communication is so important among everyone.

and the thing is.

i do not deny the fact that how serious is the racism prob in aus.

and not speaking in proper english is just going to increase the discrimination among ASIAN!

so i was working.

takng orders the other day.

and this customer.

they were all speaking in the old-fashioned type of aussie eng.

he ordered for a lemonade * see i cant even spell it*

i don even knw what the hell was that and i was like what?? pardon?

and he started yelling at me!

SPRITE! don u know what's SPRITE?

from that moment onwards

i wll nvr ever forget what's lemonade and also

i will nvr ever forget how he yelled at me..

it was so fucking rude and that was the first time i felt like an idiot.

it was as if i am a fucking asian that don fucking understand english.

it was from then onwards.

i told myself. speak proper english!

i hate it when they stare at you as if u re some freak.

these aussies claimed that we-ASIAN have invaded their teritory.

we should get our ass back to CHINA.

these smart asses thinks all asian come from CHINA.

and when u tell them you re malaysian

they think you re a MALAY...

how smart is tat?

anyway.

am just really annoyed with the fact that how racist ppl can be?

i rmb asking dad once,

why is it that the white are always known as the strongest among all races but not black or

yellow or brown?

why does the white always get all the privillege?

when we see them we looked at them as god.. we salute them we follow whatever they do.

but when it comes to us. we are just some stupid asian that's just so cheap.

when will all these questions be answered?

maybe there is no answer?

maybe GOD is not being fair to everyone afterall?

maybe.

it's time for us to take racism seriously.

it's time for us to learn from critics. and improve ourselves.

but not trying to shut ppl who re giving critics up.

critics are not so bad afterall..

2008-05-18T04:52:00.000-07:00

这个月应该是我这辈子最疯狂的一个月吧！
不经意的会想起跟他们的时光
说是放不下不如说是特别的回忆

那个最初的感动
那个一点一滴的回忆
真的让我好希望时间就这样的停止。

真的不是放不下
因为知道是不同世界的人
因为知道是没有未来的日子

只是那一首歌
让我想起了他

每一字每一句都是我们的回忆
从前的日子回不去了
未来的我们有太大的差异

听说了他差点又撞祸了
真的了解
我们不一样
差太多了

我不会在回忆里徘徊太久
因为未来的日子还很长
我又太多的梦想要实现
不能让回忆耽误了

而另外一个他
虽然短暂却不曾后悔
他还是最完美的
一直都是

或许再也不会见面了
可是他让我知道
白马王子是存在的

我知道
不是只有一个
我相信会有另一个他

突然觉得我疯了
19岁的小女生
担心什么
哈哈哈哈哈

19岁原来可以那么疯
年轻啊！
年轻！

把握青春吧
家旎。。。。

我一直都认为
以后我老了
对着儿孙
我会有说不完的故事

奶奶我以前阿。。。。。。
哇！多疯狂的日子啊！
呵呵呵。。。
****************************

气死我了
assignment 好像永远都做不完

这个交了后
我要给他玩个够！
靠！！

heroes..
death note..
sex and the city!
等着吧！我来了。。。

*****************************

我要回家啦~~~~~
想念大家。。

做功课去了！

大家加油吧！

2008-05-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

so..
it was friday night in melb.
i couldnt decide where to go..
nie's graduation?
or clubbing?
playground wit vivian or F4 with nick and nicholas?

it was so annoying..
so.
in the end.
i decided ok!
no clubbing for me tonight.
i'll just dress up a bit and go for dinner in the city.
so i started calling everyone i know. haha...
i know i am pathetic.
then.
MIKE said he's free so i met him in the city.

Mike bought me very very nice una don coz i insist on not having chinese food.
and had some california roll.
yummy~~
talk for a bit then we decided. ok i decided to go watch movie and asked if he would wanna join me.
so. we went for IRON MAN!!

it was soo sooo soooo soooooo soooooooooo gooooooooDDddd!!
i am bad at story lines but.
all u need to do is watch it.
i promise u will love it.
if u re like me.
love FANTASTIC FOUR and TRANSFORMERS.

iron man is reallyreally cool...

introducing!

TONY STARK

the outfit is sooo cool.

the whole movie was hilarious.

and great story line.

perfect ending.

and i just simply love it!

ok now.

gotta go back to my assignment.

watch the movie!

it's GOD DAMN GOOD~~

;)

p/s

mike told me that it is actually his second time watching the movie.

i felt so bad and he is an angle. thanks a lot.

2008-05-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

thanks to rachel.
i finally have sth to do..
and i hv nvr been tagged and just wondering if i am really soooo unloved?? sob... hahaa..
i am so excited now..
but then the questions.. re boring..
sad sad sad..
alright JYN cut the crap.

Real name : LUI JIA NI
Nickname : Jyn
Married : i wanna be. but too bad am not.. DAMN!
Zodiac Sign : Snake
Male or Female: F
short or long hair: long long long
Are you a health freak?: no smoking. no drugs. fibre lover. a little alcohol. wat do u say?
Height : 173cm *proud proud proud* hehe..
Do you have a crush on someone?: nope...
Do you like yourself?: not too sure...
Piercings : 3
Righty of lefty : both..

First surgery : -
First piercing(s) : 2 or 3 years old??
First best friend :zhou sth sth.. i cant rmb her name.. i think is zhou xiao qian
First award : story telling?!
First sport you joined: tug of war
First pet : HAMSTER!!!
First vacation : away form country? sg? or melb??
First crush : lim sth sth. i am still frens wit him. so... hahhaa..shhhhhh..

CURRENTLY*Eating : bread top green tea bun
Drinking : nth
I'm about to : get shower

YOUR FUTURE
Wants kids : 2 kids. gal and boy
Want to get married : SOON! haha.. but sob.. no bf..
Careers in mind : nurse!

Lips or eyes : both
Hugs or kisses : both. especially when u've fond someone tat's soooo gd at both. it just feels soo GD ahhhhhhhhhhh~~~
Shorter or taller : TALLER
Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous.
Nice stomach or nice arms: both of coz!
Trouble maker or hesitants: i don mind.. haha..

HAVE YOU EVER*
Kissed a stranger : by accident
Drank bubbles : hehe.. i think ive tried when i was young.. hahaha.
Lost glasses or contacts: ALWAYS
Liked someone younger: yea..
Liked someone older : yea...
Broken somone's heart : 1,2,3, 4, ....... ah! lost count..
Been arrested : i wonder how it feels like... hmm..
Turned someone down : yea..
Cried when someone died: Granny.. i miss her still
Liked a friend :yes!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN*
Yourself : no..
Miracles : maybe..
Love at first sight : yes.
Heaven : yea
Sex on the first date : hmm..
Angels : angles are around me.. =)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY*
Is there one person you want to be with right now: mum..
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time : nope..
Do you believe in God : yes.

Next person who's tagged: NETTO, PIGGY PEIYI..

2008-05-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

结束了

电话里
有着删除不了的短讯
有着你我的回忆

会忍不住给你打电话
只为了那1分钟的我很忙

结束了
这完美的你走了
这完美的周末结束了
我累了

未来未知

我们重新开始生活
重新开始

2008-05-08T10:57:00.001-07:00

waited for 4 hours.

all i had was 5 minutes.

2008-05-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

am waiting for kevin

AGAIN

it's 3 in the morning.

tired.

but since ive been waiting

so might as well just post some pics up!

**************************
stuffs tat i bought today!!

ah-ma jumper for only 10 AUD

giordano

super cool leather jacket!

***********************************
study session in library

******************************

so who's kevin chu?

he's the pikachu lover.

the piggy.

the kiddo.

without?
or with glasses?
he fell asleep in the train

most of all.

he's my gal.

he's gone back home.

for good.

i miss him.

2008-05-07T08:11:00.000-07:00

hmmm..
was about to go to bed coz i am so bored..
waiting for kevin to come online..
so tired..
then i thought of my dear bloggie.

haven been blogging about real stuff for very long.
hmm.
where shld i start?

shereen was saying all my love life drama..
yea.
indeed it is soo full of drama and i am not sure if i wanna tell the whole world by writing it in my blog.
but i am happy now.
contented. with myself.

i am in love again.
with myself.
lol..

crap crap crap..

just had a looooong day.
ve been sitting in front of the laptop the WHOLE day..
just to finish the first part of my assignment.
and tmr.
shopping for warm clothings.
then friday part B of the assignment.
i guess i could be able to finish it by saturday.
=)

tired tired tired.
kevin still hasnt call..
idiot..

i think am just going to sleeeeeep..
night night.
ZZzzzzzzz

2008-04-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

i knew we were different
just that i didnt know it was this much of differences.

i told him i miss him
but i take it back now.
coz i know
he is not the one.
he gave me sth unforgettable.
he gave me a great time.
but we re better off as fren.

we re just too different.
two different individual that will nvr connect.
at least now.

i will not miss u anymore.
=)

2008-04-30T04:46:00.000-07:00

你有权利情绪化

你不一定要坚强

但有些事情不能伪装别为自己设了框

我懂失去的悲伤也懂进退的挣扎

但想起过去都是失望又何必要放不下

是习惯还是爱

不放心还是不甘心

只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他

真的不需要那么想他

编织过的梦想自己也可以抵达

说一定要有他

其实你没有那么爱他

没有深陷到不可自拔

认清了真心话你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望

发现天空很宽广这世界那么大

幸福总会在某个地方

其实你没有那么爱他

真的不需要那么想他

拥有过的计划留给值得的对象

你知道不会是他

其实你没有那么爱他

没有深陷到不可自拔

认清了真心话你就放得下

2008-04-29T07:37:00.001-07:00

we re better off as frens

and i appreciate that

a lot

=)

so proud of myself.

loving myself more and more.

<3

2008-04-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

5 days..

shortest relationship ever.

but anyway.

it ended nicely.

there wasnt a fight

there wasnt a tear

there were just two ppl.

warm and cold.

which will nvr hv chemistry.

it was awesome.

it was beautiful.

he was the best bf ever.

i have a heart that's made out of plastic.

it will nvr be broken.

2008-04-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

soooooo..
as usual..
clubbing on the weekends..
but this weekend was special.. hehe..
coz i pretty much hang out at yoshi's wit yoshi and family..

back to clubbing..
yea..
ytd.. was pretty awesome in blvd..
the music and the dancing.. was really fun..
until..
around 2 sth.. a glass fell from the table..

the stupid me was thinking maybe i shld just move the broken glasses a little so that ppl wont get hurt.
so. wit my open toe heels, i kicked it underneath the table and yea.. i cut myself
and it started bleeding.
i had never been cut so badly in my entire life.
can u imagine blood was dripping all over the floor.
all i was thinking is pls get me a bandage and some cotton pls.
coz ppl just freak out when they see the amount of blood.
especially when i came out of the toilet,
when the tissues were all red.. ALL...
and it was soooooooo painful...
i tried to hold my tears when everyone was looking and then broke down when me and edison was left alone..

then poor yoshi had to carry me down the stairs and to the car..
as u know i am not light at all..
so. he really tried very hard just to make sure i am alright.
and i donno if it was the weather, the rain or the blood losing. i was shievering even when i was sitting right under the heater..

this evening,
was going my home.
but i seriously have no idea how to get home coz they actually don hv bus service that comes directly from yoshi's. which means,
i have to catch a train home.
so i went to the customer service to ask and the guy was worse than me.
he just gave me a directory and i have to figured out myself..
i almost got lost when i get off the train coz i need to get to another bus interchange.
thank god there were ppl around to ask or i would hv been crying on the street in my broken toe which is still bleeding at 730 now.
and it took me 2 hours to get home..
so not goign to yoshi's on sundays anymore..

k peepss
that's all for this weekend..
hv a nice week =)

2008-04-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

vivian, daniel, edison, yoshi
edison, tan, tan's gal, vivian, yoshi and daniel
vivian
yoshi

me likeY this pic..

***************************

damn..

stupid me.. left my blog's link on my facebook...

and i just added a few frens..

hope that they re not bothered to read it..

it's going to be soooooo embarassing...

shit..
stupid me..

*******************************

oh well..

these are some pic taken last saturday..

was super tired..

but because of sheena.. i went..

****************************

been pretty busy these few weeks..

clubbing, working, uni and sex and the city..

i hardly hv time for my frens..

can u imagine i haven been to the city for a whole month???!!

i used to go to the city EVERYDAY. or once a week..

but now, just too busy wit stuffs.

so i told my manager and i am off on saturday as well!!!

wooohooooooo~~~

and guess what?

i have like 3 assignment due in a month time and quizes to be done before next week.

also, another one to hand in on thurs..

damn.. hate it..

been really really busy..

and for your information, using msn is really expensive for me coz i am using uni's connection

and that means you pay for evreything,

using the internet.. pay..

so..

that's why u haven seen me online lately..

in aus, there's this thing call fire alarm.

which is essential for every household to have it in every single corner of the house in case there is a fire.

at first, i was pretty amased bi the fact that the goverment really care bout hte safety of their citizen coz they make it a compulsory to every house.

then.. one day..

jyn was making lunch...

sausages, eggs and stir fried mix vege..

and BOOM!

the stupid fire alarm went off!!

i freak out...

coz there were no smoke at alll....

then there goes 105 dollar...

the lady from the office said it was the oil stain on the stove. that made it went off..

and we cant do anythign about it..

then..

3 days later..

jyn was making the same food for dinner..

guess what?

u guys know the answer..

it went off again!!

it was so annoying and i got famous coz

JYN IS THE GAL THAT SETS OFF THE FIRE ALARM..

and when they see me they will like,

"hey i heard u set off the fire alarm.. "

then i had to..

" haha..

yea... "

seriously ppl,

this is so annoying..

coz ppl that i know burn their food, microwave smoked, and eveyrthing.

the alarm was alright, but when i cook, it just hate me sooo much..

another 105 dollar..

it's like RM 315.

can u imagine i mad i was?!!

and the best thing is,

it's the alarm in the living room that went off not the one in the kitchen.

i hate latrobe soooooooo much...

ok.. i don. i just hate the management.

i always get really angry when i talk about this.

so ok.

end of story bye bye.

miss malaysia a lot..

i wanna goooooo hommeee...

a scaty pic before i go..

i look terrified..

hahaa...

seriously..

worse pic ever..

2008-04-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

been clubbing a lot. hehe..
i know i know. since when i don?
met many ppl from the club pretty, cute, funny, hot and of coz extremely attractive guy.

so.. yes.
there is this extremely attractive guy. half jap half cina.
tall, funny, can cook, wit a damn nice body and seriously EXTREMELY gorgeous man.
every single gal form the club would love to dance wit him. do the dirty dance and maybe hoping to get laid.
when i say evry single gal, i meant me as well. haha..
but when he dances with me. i somehow tried to move my ass further from his- u know what-

the thin is. i realise that no matter who i am dancing wit, i feel very intimadating when they come too close to me. i would actually be rude and push them away.
i don understand how they could do all the sexy and SEXy move with total stranger.
is it just me that i am too conservative?

but i don see why i shouldnt do that. coz i still get to know ppl that can really dance and that is what i call dance baby! woohhooo~~

when ppl say opposite attracts. i know that is true but i am tellign u, i went to this aussie club last week and almost cant believe what i see.

hot chicks with hot guys.
hot chicks with ah-hem guys
ah-hem chicks with hot guys.
and of coz.
ah-hem chicks with ah-hem guys.

what the hell ppl..
i am sorry but i don dance with guys i think is ah-hem and looks gay.
lol.. sorry for being judgemental. but the thing is, u are going to do moves and dances that would probably be quite SEXy. of coz u wan someone that could turn u on man..
why would u dance with someone that makes u wanna puke?

this doesnt happen in asian clubs tho.
the tempreture rises so fast that they don have to turn the heater on.
coz everyone looks hot!
at least they all try to be hot!

i am seriously telling u.
not only that i find it a bit dususting but also,
i am really surprise and solute to the aussie gals.
they just dress in whatever they think is hot.
without thinking of what size they are.
i know it's suppose to be good coz they might look worse if they don dress like that.
but still...
think about it..
would u dance with a gal like that?

when we all say no.
the guys in ausssie would just move their ass on the dance floor..

asian and aussie??
totally different.

**********

the super gorgeous guy ask me out.
should i go?
hehehe..

2008-03-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

these re some older pics that havent been upload.

study session at my place

never forget about ice cream
courtney the smart ass. hehe.

alex looking retarded
courtney wit her funny face
courtney

tzu chi camp

dog that came from no where looking super cute.

2008-03-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

ASSes

hmmm..

first pair of bootyy

eee.. how much is this?

don try to take this away from me!
best waffle on earth
caught in act.. haha..

it was friday..

and i met up wit gorgeous ALEXXXXXXXXXX for max brener's

they sell the best waffles on earth.

look at the chocolate and fruits wit vanilla ice cream combo.. it is soooooooooooo gd.....

and of coz.. how can u forget the drinks we re having???

i am telling u.. the thought of it makes me crave for more max brener's..

then.

shopping was definitely in the intenary of the day.

smart Alex will tell me like.

yea.. it's nice. u need it. get it. don feel guilty coz u re gonna use it.

sooooooo..

i ended up buying boots. cosy sleepers for home. then clutch bag. and clothings.

coz they were soooo cheap and i got it for less then 10 bucks for each item. of coz expect for the boots.

stupid Alex.. make me buy so many things.

but i love her still. hehe..

2008-03-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

pics only from my blog!!

flinders station

from VIV

swaston st in melb city!

tzu chi camp

melb uni (day before)
getting ready for camp

bus.. to lilydale

momba or mamba or sth festival in yarra river!!

super nice korean food!!

thanks to louis!

crazy waterdale-ians

esha jyn lorraine

st patrick's day

aka dress code: green

esha
renee flatmate

classmates!!

courtney

alex jyn courtney

la trobe uni!

my apartment

bunga raya tree!!

******

baby AMELIA

DOB 13/2/2008

first shower of her entire life

see..
i called my bf (zw) ytd..
then all of a sudden everthing is so familar again.
the way i talk to him.the tone of his voice.
then i now. i miss him a lot.
i was so happy after i talk to him. this has not happened when i talk to anyone else.
i realise that i love him so much. that he is irreplaceable.
the feelings he gave me and the love. i could feel it a hundred thousand miles away.
but what ever shit these guys told me. were shit-talk afterall. not sincere at all.

mr j and penguin re 2 gd examples.
if penguin is reading right now. he knows exactly how i feel.
i know that he totally get what i mean.
is not that i am trying to save my face after being dump. just that... erm.. this is really what i feel.
as for mr j. i guess it's just the matter of needed the attention. and like i am so used to taking care of the person beside me. as in calling and concern and all.
the fact is i don even like ( as in bf-gf type) him. i just needed someone. tom or dick or harry.

oh well..
the thing is. now thzt i am going to start working. so hopefully i don hv time to think of these rubbish and continue missing my dear dear bf back in jb..
if i were to choose only one of these guys to marry me. hehe.. it would definitely be him.
3 years of fondness and a whole year of love. how can it be compare??? going really strong and i din even notice till now.
alright then.. bye guys

i hate autumn. winter.
love summer.

2008-03-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

i've been seeing someone for a week.
then now. i am left alone again.
hmm..
i just gotta learn my lessons and stay away from jerks huh?
when will i start learning. after so many times.
maybe i am just so used to being dump?
so used to giving too much even if i donno if i like him?
i swear i really donno if i like him.
i guess i just don like to be alone. and once i am into a relationship, i would not stop giving. too much maybe.
but how can u tell me not to gv so much? coz u don wanna pick me up in pieces?
that's just me. i know how to gv. and i certainly expect to get sth in return.
but busy? i cant handle busy men..
maybe lorraine's right? i have to see someone that has issues? get myself hurt?

i wan a simple and sweet relationship.

2008-03-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

for li teng.

no matter how hard is it, u have to make a decison.

a decision that u will never regret.

even if we might not like the idea of what u wanna do, but u know we will still be here for u.

because we love u. a lot.

we want u to get out the best in life.

sometimes, u just have to look at things at different perspective and put yourself in other ppl's shoes. then reconsider ur decision.

if u think that's the best thing to do. then do it.

you'll have us no matter what happen.

talk to more ppl, then maybe u'll know what u want in life.

love u. LOTS

2008-03-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

i guess i've finally figured out why i lke summer in melbourne.

because i miss home.

so much.

i miss malaysian food.

i miss the weather.

i miss the rainy days.

i miss my xiao hei.

i miss mum and dad.

i miss my lao poS.

i miss everything in malaysia.

i miss the idea of it.

it's been a month.

and i wanna go home.

all of a sudden i've lost the ppl i could rely on.

to talk to here.

all of a sudden, i miss the person i was once so close wit. he is no longer here to comfort me.

all of a sudden, i know i have to be strong. i will have to hang on till next year.

i miss home.

i miss the ppl i'm familar wit.

i miss the guy that talks me to bed.

i miss the places that i am so familar and got sick of it.

i miss everything.

2008-03-16T05:09:00.000-07:00

over and over again u tell yourself

u re not going to be so naive. again.

u re not going to fall for someone. again.

then. when it happens. it happens. again.

heartbroken. again and again.

2008-03-12T01:12:00.000-07:00

woo hoo~
i've finally got my connection here.
in my room!!

check out my pictures from friendster.
cant be bothered to post the same photos for 2 times .

and yeah!!
so excited now!
goign for a movie.
so what's so excited? it's just a movie...
it'snot just a movie.
it's drive-in!!!
hv u ever watched GREASE? the AWESOME movie.
yea.
it's like that.. u get to watch movie in the car...
i am telling u.
this is like my first time i am going to do this. SUPER SUPER super super excited.
lol.. kampung gal is like this one la..
hahha..

and yeah..
uni...
oh well..
AAS is pretty boring which is basically about all the stuff that nurse needs to know..
and we had to do it like 2 hours in a row every week..
damn...
then API is about anatomy and physiology.
i love!!! this so much coz it's pretty much like bio..
and yea.. PHA.. PSYCHOLOGY
thank god i did psy last year!!
and LIL is just crap..

hmm...
gotta go get ready for my date.
=)

2008-03-06T21:48:00.000-08:00

this is a special announcement to mr penguin.
i don know when was the last time u've visited my blog.
but anyway.
u'll see this one day..

i've change my blog because i am starting allover again.
my blog. my life.

i deserve to be happy.
more than u do.

frens is all wat u wan then be it.
we were better off as frens.

i was happy when i was with u.
now that i realise.
everything u gave me is sadness.

i should walk away

i am walking away

2008-03-03T16:21:00.000-08:00

喜欢却很害怕读小外遇的部落格。
不知道为什么常常都有一丝丝的感动
他让我想念中学生涯，还有家。
他的一字一句是那么的动人，可以说是那么的贴近心底
仿佛就发生在自己的身上。
佩服佩服

加油。小外遇。

=）

2008-03-02T23:04:00.000-08:00

miss me not??
haha...
i know i've been lacking of updating my blog.
but..
pls understand that i still don hv internet connection at home..
so...
yea..
i hv to be in uni to get online, check my email and stuff...

oh well,
second week of semester we've already starting with our assignments today.
super exciting........ my ass...
i am really nervous about all this..
assignments are freaking me out.. and my NICE flatmate.. is driving me crazy..
oh well.. she's not that bad.. just maybe just me.. that i am a tight arse person..
trained by my parents.. haha..
our apartment is super clean coz i am always the one nagging.. ahahha...

then i get super long weekends every week.
coz i don hv classes on friday!!
at all1!!!
my my last class of the week ends on thurs 1 o clock.. HHOOO RAYYYYYY!!
haha..damn happy with that..
which means,
i basically will do my groceries shopping on thurs after class.
then city to kepoh on friday..
doing nth at home on saturday and sunday..
guess i'll be visitng boxhill more often then coz i hv bi jia there and tzuchi activity to go to... since i basically hv like 12 hours of class during the whole week. when the others hv double my time..
that's why i hv tons of assignment i guess.. coz we'll hv more time to prepare then.

how i hope that i am earning aussie dollar here...
then i can shop like no one's business.... hahah...
oh ya..
i;ve got my working permit now.. so...
yeaHHH!! gonna get a part time job..

hmmm..
i guess that's all for now...

miss malaysia lots.....................

2008-02-25T16:25:00.000-08:00

maybe we were never meant to be..

maybe you have never love me..

maybe you are still in love DEEPLY with her..

2008-02-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

for penguin..

it's not telling you how I feel that scares me it's what you'll say back.

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you .

Why can't you just tell me how you feel, because how you act is confusing me. You walk by me like I'm no one, you smile at me like I'm anyone, you hug me like I'm someone... but kiss, the way you kiss me, its as if I'm the only one.

2008-02-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

dear all,

hv been to aus for 4 days..

phew..

it's seriously wasnt easy at all..

first u hv to start making frens or u will be alone..

i mean somehow it's just make u feel uneasy toking to someone that speaks in a diff aaccent.

at least it wasnt easy for me at all..

just couldnt think of any conversation.

thank god i met nicholas chew ( yes.. my g13 class monitor, nicholas, the legend.. hahaha..) and martin who happens to be a student from SAM as well..

felt so happy when i could finally tok in the malaysian way.. haha..

so on the first day.

went to register at the ipo.

and there i met JENNIFER..

the chio,pretty and sweet korean gal..

she's nice la..

my aunt actually invited her over to her place..

and the second day.

jennifer taught me how to take bus and train to the campus.

can u imagine? it actually takes 2 hours for me to travel from my aunts house to campus....

crazy. which means back and forth would take me 4 hours..

and i am still so unfamilar wit everything..

it really needs a lot of guts to get home alone...

damn.. especially wit a blurr driver. it gets on ur nerve when u donno whr's the bus heading...

i am lucky to b home now. coz i almost got lost just now..

thank god i am moving in this sunday

to a apartment that is nearer to campus..

then..

the timetable.. i had totally no idea at all in arranging the timetable

so.. i went to the timetable helper and he basically did everything for me and the only thina i hv to do is to arrange the time.

and BOOKSS!!

trying to get some 2nd hand books so might be able to safe some money. hopefully..

speaking of money..

it's expensivee.... i mean everything

the transport fare is 10.10 dollar (rm 30.3)everyday.

then i register for a mobile phone line..

speaking of this i think it is quite worth.. coz i get a free phone.. se z610i..

i know it's not a great phone but let me finish this..

i get a free hp then i get to talk on the phone for 120 dollars everey month and i only pay 29 dollars..

how's that?? worth it isnt it? haha..

3 should pay me for promoting for them..

oh ya.. back to the money..

food here is super expensive so i guess by the time i am back in jb.. i will be a great cook!!

woo hoo~

till then..

with lots of love.

jyn

2008-02-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

in a few hours time..
i'll be leaving..

had a 'yum cha' session wit my dearest frens before i leave..
going to miss msia so much..
especially the ppl here..
had so much of sweet memories wit them..

high school was super fun..
college was the greatest thing that happen to me.
then come uni..
so soon.
i thought it was not going to come so fast..
i've made a choice.
a life time choice which i might regret one day..
i am afraid that i would not be able to handle things well..
lives will be in my hand.. i have to be responsible.
i need courage and faith..
i hv to be more careful in whatever i do..
oh my god..
i cant believe i am taking this job..
phew..

good luck to JYN!!

2008-02-05T04:12:00.000-08:00

hey.. penguin..

for the first time, i feel like telling you, from the bottom of my heart. i really do miss u a lot.

even if u wont see this. even if u do not know u mean so much to me.

you really do mean a lot to me..

2008-01-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

these few days have been quite shit-ish for me..
got so hurt when he said we were only gd frens.
then calling off my own farewell party.. damn..
and..
anyway
everything just doesnt seems to be right just before i leave....

tears.. pls go away..

2008-01-28T18:12:00.000-08:00

2 months ago,
i've just sat for my finals..
and now..
in a week time.. i am flying off...
went to changi to see nick off last night..
he was so lucky that we went to see him off..
i mean like, for me maybe only poor dhanish will be there.. lol..
and sometimes, i just felt like i am so pathetic.
leaving so soon and i am planning my own farewell party and i don even know if they are coming..
hahaha..... that's damn sad...
and my bf... doesnt even hv the time to acc me just before i leave....

hey u!
i donno when u will see this but saying u miss me is not so hard right?
haha...

2008-01-18T08:06:00.000-08:00

so broken...

so hurt...

i thought i know u..

but i don..

u re sitting next to me but it felt so far...

the distance between us...

hv u ever tried to understand my feelings?

or am i not gd enough for u?

i wanna leave..

away from you..

2008-01-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

i donno what to say after everything u've said to me.
am i suppose to step back?
re u telling me we will not be together?
or re u telling me it's just a statement?
but it was meant for everyone isnt it?
which means i am included...
will be pls gv me a clear answer so i will know what to do...
i understand and i wont force u..
but i need u to tell me what to do...

2008-01-15T07:12:00.000-08:00

u knw i hate the dial tone every time u make a call..
" tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut tut-tut the number u hv called cannot be reached at the moment pls try again later"

7 times of "tut-tut" exactly 7 times.
i am so familiar wit that and i hate to know that i am familiar with this
which means i hv been calling
again and again
so many times and nobody answers my call...

or maybe he will answer and tell u i am busy...
does that make a difference?
sometimes. .

i hate to wait
but eventually
i've turn into a patient person coz i wait
for hours for days for months and maybe for years..

will u pls answer my calls?

2008-01-13T06:52:00.000-08:00

终于有华文了
是想念的

要飞了

难过

2008-01-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

was reading rachel's blog earlier...
i have to say

i miss college!!!

i really do miss college.
i rmb the first day i went to college..
i wore a green top. i came in alone. all by myself into the class.
then months later... we were all talking about the first day of college and guess what? my classmates actually rmb what i wore..
hahaha..
tho it's nothing special but i donno. just felt like i am not that ordinary afterall... hahahhaa.... i know it's damn childish.. but don u love it when ppl notice u? i hv to admit. i like the way i felt.

then.. was getting to know all the classmates..
those that were smart, noisy, annoying, big time liar, show off ones, funny ones, drama queen, the dancer and smartass, the only guy... the teachers..
everyone was so special.. so mad.. so fun.. so nice.. so interesting..
it's a waste if u don get to know these ppl...

3rd step is how crazy our class was..
ignoring lectures... complaining about everything... gosips
then the food... asia cafe, market, tuna twist, salmon steak, top man, and the shop opposite ac i cant rmb the name. burger king, drink testing in starbucks, mc d....
everywhr we went. was truly memorable...
hahhaa... sound like some old stories...
then come charity day, sam fiesta, teachers day, prom......
until prom... i still couldnt believe that time just flies like tat....
just like tat....

mrs param always the nice and strict one..
ms shoba the one that nvr fails to make us laugh...
ms ng that always got pissed off because of my stupid questions
hahaha...
ms doh the crazy maths teacher.. hahaha.. but super nice..
then come mrs lian..... erm..... erm.... no comment...
in conclusion! we had the greatest teachers ever!!
i am so going to miss annoying ms ng during her class....
hahhahaa....

i really really enjoyed my college life!
i wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be...
lol... it actually turn out to be super fun...
wit all the running away ffrom classes..
hanging out in the cafeterria....

how i wish i'd never grow....

2008-01-07T03:05:00.000-08:00

16th of feb...

9th of feb standby.

leaving soon...........

2008-01-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

damn it..
why cant they make up their mind?
just choose one place!
i'll stay or leave!
easy...
damn.............

had shogun wit long yi for lunch!
kimchi steamboat is as good as ever.. *yummy*
for those who reli enjoy eating japanese food.
it's really worth it!!
coz it's buffet style u can eat all u want
and it doesnt matter if u cant finish...
hahaha...

then he decided to hv a hair cut..
we headed holiday plaza..

haven been there for many years.
and it's really not that bad
nice place to shop..
=))

and guess who i met!!
my long lost darling!!!!!
hahaha...
ah zong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's still the lovely brother i used to know.
he was really busy, thus had not enough time to catch up wit him.
but he might be going to penang!
which means
we will hv two nights to talk about evrything
hahahhaha..

k...
just to update..
gtg...

don reply my msg!!
u die la u....
hmph!!
=p

2008-01-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

i felt like a fool

i thought he would be waiting for my call

i thought he would be missing me.

i htought he care if i don call

but he was busy.

he only talks to me when i call.

i am not so important afterall.

maybe he was hinting me, telling me stop calling.

or maybe i was just too sensitive.

2008-01-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

wahahahaha....

2
0

tell me u don love new year and i'll slap u!!

ahahhaha...

2007-12-30T06:21:00.000-08:00

it has come to the end.
2007 has been a year...
phew...

finally gaining back some self confidence on my studies..
i did better than last year for my studies.
tho i was still having fun,
but i am really lucky to do well in my studies.
maybe u ppl would think that it's not that gd compared to those that scored 90 and above.
but, i really glad that i at least reached my target.
=)

am really hoping that next year.
i would do even better.
coz i am quite sure will hv less fun there.
hahaha..
will be staying wit my aunt.
high expectation from them and my family.
so hv to reli reli do well for my degree....

glad that i went to taylors this year.
at least my english is improving.
and get to knw some reli nice ppl from all around malaysia
having absolutely fun classmate.
lovely roomates...
and the gal......................... Pei YI!!!!
haha..

but generally,
i think it's quite a fuck up life this year.
drinking, clubbing, shopping.
wasting lots of money..
damn...
and i did sth that i could ever forgive myself
it's against my religion and my parents teaching.
not gonna make it clear here.

i could hv do better this year..
but..
i screwed up...

totally screwed up....

i hope that i'll will be stronger next year.

will and faith and trust.

2008..

here i come!

2007-12-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

i

m
i
s
s

u

if u cant hear what i said last night.

complication.
makes life beautiful.

2007-12-24T17:17:00.000-08:00

so broken..
i never knew it was going to be this hard.
i thought leaving was just a matter of time and i'll walk away without looking bad.
i didnt know that i would cry so hard.
so hard till my eyes still hurt now.
it has been so long since i felt so hurt. so sad. so......
i thought he did not mean anything to me..
i could live without him.
ha..
so silly of me....

2007-12-22T06:36:00.000-08:00

u've been too busy
working..
working working is everything u know..

tho i am leaving soon
but u don care do u?

2007-12-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

how is it like to fall for someone that u've never met for the past 3 years?
in just one day.

it just changes everything..

everything..

2007-12-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

she's pretty and smart...
a future doctor..
tall and rich..
kind and nice and everyone loves her..
who am i to be compare to her..

life hasnt been easy ever since i came back from melb
working..
getting my results..
quit from working...
then makin a decision where to go..
complicated relationship that i am into...
damn...
it's just so annoying...

finally got my results.
and it turn out just as i expected..
it's ok...
not too good or too bad..
i know my standard and with the time i started studying..
yea.. so it's just ok...
that's all i can expect..
at least i c an get into any uni with that results...
thank god i am not doing medicine or sth..
coz my results is definitly not good enough..
hahaha...
anyway.. i am reli happy with it..
for a person that was never a hard worker...
i am reli glad that i did well..
hahahhahahahhahahhahahhahhahahhhaahaha..... *extremely happy*

say bye bye to LEVI'S
the lazy me decided to sttop working
and i am like reli irresponsible
coz i just without telling them earlier..
feel rel bad..
but i have to go for sign language practise and preparation for uni...

2007-12-12T19:44:00.001-08:00

You Are Iris

You are an interesting blend of fun and wisdom.

You definitely make people think about themselves and their place in the world.

But they'll have fun doing it. You definitely epitomize laughter therapy.

You are a very enriching and entertaining friend!

What Color Purple Are You?

2007-12-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

it's 12.09 am in melb now..
am sitting in front of the computer trying to update u guys about my trip herre...

first about the jeans..
ppl... if u think i get special discount?? sorry i don!!
and me myself i don even own one pair of Levi's jeans.. hahhaa.. eventho my boss has been hinting me..
hahahhaa..

okok
on the 5th.. arrived in the morning.
then we went back to my aunt's place
had suppeerrr nice lunch in a vietnam restaurant!!
and the portion was sooooooooooo big and i couldnt finish...
but it was reli reli good
i had this tomatoe pork noodle!! yummm yummm..
so basically that day we just rest at home due to jet lag.
it's summer here and it's like 3 hours ealier in melb..

then ytd,
we went to de city by train..
visited the musuem and then met up wit william
and i had a very very very very special and nice day wit him
i enjoyed myself so much and i reli hope that he did enjoyed himself..
=)

so today..
was in philip island whr it doesnt feel like summer at all..
almost freeze to death..
hahaha..
saw de perfect sea view and the cutest cutest penguin ever..
basically i enjoyed myself so mch here and i reli hoped that time would just stop...
hehe..
but i still miss msia tho....
wait for me ppl...
will beb ack next fri and u'll get to see me in levi's on sat if u do miss me!!!
hahahhaha...
chaos..

2007-11-26T17:52:00.000-08:00

it's just so funny how friendship works isnt it?
one day u re his best-est friend who knows everything bout her..
then came his dream gal.. u re no longer the first person he would thought of..
then the break up that almost killed him..
u were there.. at least u try to be there for him..
then he found his new frens.. alas, u re forgotten..
no more long distance calls just to update about his day..
no more text telling u how bad was his day..
u re forgotten...
no longer in his mind..
till one day, when he needs u again..
maybe.. u wont even be on his friend list anymore..
this is what u call friend..
lol..

started working ytd..
everything was ok..
but i felt stupid then..
coz i din knw where to get the clothes..
then.. all the folding and rolling makes me headache..
hahhaa..
anyway, i did enjoy working..
at least i wont be sleeping and C.S.I-ing at home the whole day!!

so ytd,
after work arnd 7,
zw came pick me up then we headed to permas for dinner..
permas and town it's like 20 minutes away..
and permas from my house it's like 45 minutes away..
anyway, the point is permas is reli far..
so.. we park our car by the beach.. (having a famous nasi lemak at the beach)
then we were so happy coz it was a gd parking site..
we went out of the car and then only found out that the shop was close!!
damn it!!
si we went back and guess wat??
the car cannot start!!!!!!!!!
and a whole lot of this and that happened..
then i finally got home and fell into deep sleep..
lol..
daddy needs his laptop back..
so i'll tell u the story when i see u..
chaos...

=)

2007-11-20T03:33:00.000-08:00

heheh
i am waaaayyyy too free now..
could do anything i like wit money of course.. lol..
so since i am broke.. staying at home blogging seems to be the only thing i could do now.. lol..
ok..
finals have finally ended last wed..
i swear i felt like crying when the clock was showing 2 40 pm...
finally.. evrything... sam has ended..
i thought i did better than trials..
hopefully my results would turn out to be good.

straight after my chem paper..
i got a ride from sam and he sent me to pyramid's bus stop..
and i arrive jb aorund 9...
felt so happy to be at home...
hang out wit my long yi.. lol.. brought me to shogun for jap buffet... *yummy!!!*
then.. uncle and family came from sg for dinenr at my place..
ever since my grandma left us, we haven been spending much time together..
miss grandma so much...

went to the dentist with zw on sunday..
and he gave me a ride home...
<3

then came back yestday..
packed my stuff
and was sent to my uncle's place today..
went shopping wit pei yi ytd and spent so much money...
hehe..

ok ok .. i knw this entry is kind of bored..
hehe.. but... wat to do?? eng not good MAR~haha..
prom tmr and i am back to jb again!!!
gonna start working next mon~

yeah...
u guys can come see me in cs..
will be working in levi's
=)

2007-11-11T03:57:00.000-08:00

隐私被侵犯了
那时什么样的感觉？
赤裸裸的感觉，
羞耻，愧疚又带点发怒
之因为真正的你被人知道了
你所想隐藏的一面被人看见了
只能用愤怒来掩饰你的不安

那侵犯别人的隐私
又感觉如何？
有点刺激，懊悔，
明明知道不对却忍不住想知道
贪婪。。。

2007-11-05T22:12:00.000-08:00

部落格里的是自己吗？
那个别人都认识的自己吗？
还是一个想呈现在别人面前那个惹人爱的人？
我们有多诚恳不知道
只是很多时候我们写的跟现实生活中是不一样的人
我们那么不知不觉地在以为自己就是手上一字一句写的自己
然而真正放不下，自私，斤斤计较的也正是我们没有发现的自己
一直认为只要别人没有说出你的缺点不代表你是个好人
只有当你开口问，才会知道原来自己的缺点
可是，原意面对与承认自己缺点的又有几个？
承认了原意改变那才叫勇敢

你真的知道你是谁吗？

2007-10-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

it's about time to blog right??
felt that ppl that used to tell me evrything now, doesnt seems to be trusting me anymore???
then ppl that i always trusted.. doesnt gv me the sense of secure..
i hate it when u re toking to someone and that person doesnt respond..
aih...
too many things happening and i donno who to tok to

is it a curse or wat..
everytime i hv major exam. i'll fall sick.....
damn..

2007-10-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

什么时候
我忘了大哭后的解脱

一直认为你不是什么
认为只要不曾为你掉过一滴就不算爱过
认为只要对我比以前好一些就不会要求
认为只要我一直再对你好就够了

只是认为的是自己对自己的谎言
还是为你找的完美借口
对我至少没那么伤

当眼泪决堤了原来爱过
当受伤了原来一直都没变
当心寒了原来你不曾了解有多好

一句抱歉都没有
眼泪决堤了原来爱过

2007-10-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

心纠了一下
你说的是我吗？
我喜欢一直都很喜欢你
你误会了吗？
有时候口不择言
你懂吗？
真的只是说说而已

2007-10-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

该说什么

我想你很想你

其实我懂你在想什么
只是你一直都不说
担心我会出意外
所以都不敢要我回去
虽然见面的几率就0.1巴仙
可是我想总好过没有吧

谢谢你

2007-10-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

CONFESSION

ok ok..
i hv a confession to make..
all these while. i did not mention this on my blog..
ok i gotta admit..
i've been clubbing in kl all this while..

probably not sth special for all of u out there..
as in u g uys might be.. "cheh... i tot wat.."
but it does need courage to tok about this in front of all my frens..
coz ppl hv been labelling..
clubbing=evil..

so how do u define evil?? or.. hmm... cant think of a proper word to describe.. but i guess the norm is..
when a gal goes clubbing..

she drinks
she gets drunk
she dance with strangers
she sleeps wit strangers
she gets involve in drugs
she is wasting her time
she doesnt go for classes
she smokes
she would know "bad guys" and get involve in their life
bla bla bla...
all sorts of assumption would be made
and the conclusion is..
she is a bad gal..

of all above,
i only drink..
coz i hv to admit i like de taste of liquor
and that's all..
i wont get drunk coz..... pls read back one of my post..
yea..
and u know.. i somehow just couldnt stand ppl that i donno touching me..
so strngers don even get to dance wit me AT ALL..

i protect myself when i club..
and the reason i like clubbing..
coz i get to see ppl..
how the way they behave.. attitude..
don believe me??
u just hv to...

i went to rumms with shi jen last night..
just the two of us..
i din drink much coz we cant afford to get a bottle..
so i just took a few sips or beer... " i still prefer liquor"
we were sitting at the bar..
looking at the ppl around us..
for the first time,
i felt empty..
i hv no idea why am i sitting there wasting my time..
hurting myself.. as in drink..
-but i reli reli reli don drink a lot.. coz i am still a beginner.. -
i look at the ppl around me..
why re they here?
to get to know new ppl?
to show of how gd they look??
for me.. i was there becoz of shi jen.. my best buddy!!
he wanted to meet a gal. so i acc him..
wat about these ppl around me.. they come for the same reason??
i donno..
i just felt empty and i should quit..
but i know.. i was just thinking.. coz i couldnt resist the chance for me to 'know'(observe) diff ppl..
u probably think that this is just an excuse..
well.. i donno.. maybe u re right..

anyway.. for those who re worried for me..
don be..
coz i don drink from strangers..
i am a "proud" gal when i go clubbing..
i don talk to any of the strangers..
i don get drunk..
and.. yea.. in conclusion.. i reli reli try very hard to protect myself coz i don wan anything to happen to me coz i don wan my parents to be worry..
do they know?? of coz they don..

so u guys should know wat to do..
keep it from ur parents!! lol..
u know..
i nvr thought that this is anything that i should be proud of..
i reli don..
that's why i've nvr mention 'clubbing'

the truth is i was ashamed..
i know i couldnt take it when ppl think of me as someone which i am not..
but i know.. one day..
someone will know..
and yea..
at least i tell u guys what's happening to me..

promise promise promise
i promise
i wont go as often ..
i'll just study till my final ends..
ok??

love u lots!!!
<3

the hardest part of this confession is..
who my parents re..
so i reli sincerely hope u guys would help me..

2007-10-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

i couldnt rmb who
btu someone. recently..
we were talking about this..
we nwere saying taht why arent we like all those rich brats..
they get wat they want every time
they don hv to worry about how much they spend coz their parents can afford..
yes indeed.. envious.. or perhaps jealousy..

but..
we know.. i know.. they might be fulfil materially..
but i hv a loving family..
i hv ppl that care for me..
i am glad i am brought up well..
maybe not too gd to CERTAIN ppl..
but yes.. i know i would always try to be nice and polite to everyone..

i am glad.. that i am not as rich as some of the others.
at least i know about how the life of being not so rich is like..
i am exposed to cheap and nice probably not so healthy food..
but still it's nice.. i've known ppl from diff background..
the mafia, the nerds, the poor, the bimbos, the fun..
i reli do know a lot of ppl..

and now i am here..
kl...
the glamourous place to be in..
i admit i am vain..
i am materialistic..
but am glad that i hv strong moral values instilled in me..
at least i am not rotten.. YET u might say..
but i donno..
i've known the really rich.. models.. sluts... and oso pampered brats that doesnt know a thing about how simple life can be..
u don need tons of branded stuff to look gd.. u don hv to care about how ppl label u.. as long as u know the moral values that u re holdign on is strong.. u re reli "EXPENSIVE" lol..
u guys gotta understand that my english is reli reli bad..

i always believe that getting sth means that u re losing sth..
we may not be as rich as they re..
but we hv a happy family..
we re exposed to diff ppl and culture..

oh shit...
i am repeating my points
haha..
wrong format for essay...
k..
i cant think of etra points
will add in when i can think
gd nigth...

2007-10-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

"you don seem like u brought anything with you.."
"yes. i didnt bring my bag along"
"wat about ur id?"
*petting pocket* *show id*
" so ur bday is a day after valentines?"
"yea" *smiling*

been having headache since last night..
is it because of stress??
i donno..
omg..
it's relil killing me..
not feelign well the whole day..
miss my darling.. he told me not to go back..
raya's higer rate of accident..
i hate headache.
feel like puking now..
damn...
i need someone to be with me now...

2007-10-09T04:24:00.001-07:00

i need a job
i need a job
i need a job..

2007-10-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

went to loaf wit paul and cheryl last night..
a night which i doubt i would forget ever..
and i would say.. i was glad to be there..
got to know some reli famous ppl in town..
i was so ignorant that i didnt know he was so famous till i google-ED his name online..
i bet i can sell his number for some money when i am desperate..
hahahaha...
but of coz i wont do that.. haha.. he was nice to me.. how could i do that to him..
blah.. wat eva.. don ask me who coz u wont believe it anyway..
maybe u might think that i am just bullshitting but who cares?? i know i am telling the truth..
i donno why.. some how.. i kept thinking of him.. he reli makes me think a lot.. thinking as in reli think not the missing type..
well.. i donno how to express how i feel now..
just that.. he gave me a special feeling.. haha..... sound like some gal that just had a crush..
but.. no no no.. he's just special.. in a way..

oh man.. i donno wat am i writing.. so don bother to ask..

ok ok..
went for prom dress shopping again today..
i've finally got mine..
paul and cheryl said i should alter it..
so.....
will see la.. see if i can afford alteration.. haha..
and depends on my mood...
yu wen lost her watch today..
she accidentally left it in the fitting room and when we went back for it. i wasnt there anymore..

i was actually kinda pissed..
that idiotic person that took that away must be a very selfish person i'd say..
imagine u lost sth that is important to u..
hoiw would u feel??
why cant she think before she took that watch away..
be considerate..
at least try to put urself into other ppl's shoes..

or if i look it in another perspective,
she must be a poor and desperate woman...
becoz she cant afford to get her own watch..
pity her then...

we re all like this arent we??
we do things and forgot about how the others would feel..
we re plain selfish admit it..
i guess i do agree wit FREUD's theory..
human are drive by their ID
we re selfish and don care about how others feel..
we try to be polite, nice
but the truth is.. we just care for ourselves.

2 o clock in the morning and i don think i know wat i wrote ealier..
so yeah... i'll go to bed now...........
good night..

2007-10-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

haha...
finally "in the mood" to blog..
lol..
updates about my week...

1/10/2007

ying zhen and i went for CHUCK and LARRY
great movie..
i like the circle part...
a mariage is like a circle.. there's no beginning and no end..
it is not like a triangle.. no diagonal..
hahahhahahahaha... lame pastor..

2/10/2007

esther and i went for this freshlook thingy just for the sake of the free contacts!!
lol...

esther, karyan, qian hui,yz and i went for prom dress shopping!!

it was esther's first time on the monorail!

a long day we had..
but buy nth..
esther found herself a great dress..
red..
STUNNING i'd say

3/10/2007
digi man in college!!

took a long nap at home then a late night movie and spent my night in py's house..

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4/10/2007
esther was caught sleeping on the bench in the cafeteria..
pig...

and it was also our last experiment for SAM

chromatography

yes!!
the colour of SMARTIES

how could we not chamwhore for the one last time??!!

5/10/2007
nothing much today..

a stupid cat sleeping under the table like nobody's business..

and a last vb training..

i shall now end wit
PEI HWA's ASS

2007-09-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

i freaking hate my hair....
why it doesnt grow longer!!!!???

2007-09-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

had dinner wit pei inn, xinyi and si yi ealier..
she told me not to blog..
but i amso tempted to blog..
hahah...
not gonna write much just a test that i did
so what do u say bout the results??

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2007-09-17T05:43:00.000-07:00

2007年开学了
来到了新的环境
有了新的同学新的朋友
我是个念旧的人
不喜欢重新认识新的朋友种下新的友谊种子
因为我知道真心对你的人真的不多
而且，还没来到这里就先听说这里的人有多现实
到了
整班都是女生
我知道今年大家都不会有多开心
勾心斗角的日子有了

真的不出我所料
一开始的友善渐渐变成了同学闹分组
日子久了也都知道每个人的个性怎样

对我来说没有什么影响
因为我从来没有太过信任任何人
只因为想保护自己
在课室里我不属于任何一组的朋友
虽然偶尔会感到寂寞
但是拨通电话姐妹就会在身边

困扰不会太大
虽然不相信任何人
我却不曾待人不诚恳
我一直都认为只要你对别人好，人家就会对你好
可是很多时候
想的跟说的不一样
说的又跟做的不一样
希望的总是会落空
因此我们不再对任何人有任何期许

所以当我说我在这里没有朋友的时候
请不要感到讶异

最近又个女生跟闹别扭
虽然不是很清楚原因
可是她却不像根我说话
而且对我好的同学也被她排挤
我可怜的朋友
呵呵
真是委屈她了
我真的不明白为什么这么讨厌我
不过我个人也不喜欢她哈哈
单纯因为觉得她自以为是
不诚恳
常常看不起别人
或许是我自己对她有偏见
不过我自己认为对她还蛮不错的

而且我跟他的深仇大恨
全班同学都看透了
而且谁对我好
她就不爽谁
真是抱歉了各位

找一天。。。。一天
会跟她摊牌的
在说吧

生病了整个人是闷的咯。。。。。。
穷人不能生病啊！！

2007-09-15T21:53:00.001-07:00

how does it feel like to be dead...
re u afraid of death?
yes.. i do..
i really do..
i always imagine the moment before u re dead..
would be the worse moment of ur life..
thinking of u would leave everyone u love..
and u don hv the time to say gd bye..
ur family..
what will they do withoiut you?
perhaps u re not so important..
but somehow.. i guess.. someone out there will be sad..
u don wanna see them cry becoz of u..
i guess.. u wont get to rmb a thing.. after u close ur eyes and nvr open it again...
i'm a kia siu person..
will try to protect myself..
i don wan myself to get hurt..
coz anything might ahppen anytime..
one moment u re sitting in coffe bean drinking coffee. and the next second u might just die in an accident..
tell the ppl u love that u love them before u regret..
tell them they mean a lot to them..
i do..
i tell my parents i love them..
my friends mean a lot to me..
i cant forget how my granma just left like thnat
she promise tat we will celebrate CNY together
but she left..
i hate the feeling of ur love one leave u...
so..
cherish every moment..
before it is too late..

2007-09-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说
***************************************
不知道为什么
每次听到这首歌
心总是纠一下
会很心疼
虽然自己没有这样的经验
可是总觉得
女孩会很痛吧
自己心爱的男人离她而去
需要多少的勇气去接受他们的恋情
需要多少的勇气接受他已经不爱她
是心痛的咯。。。。。

2007-09-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

一大清早起床
喉咙痛到不行
要生病了我想说
再睡一下吧

40分钟后
电话响起
是我宝贝起床了吗？
打开简讯
“龙一出车祸了。。进医院你知道吗？”
我马上从被单里冲起来。。
打了电话给巧双结果她不清楚什么事
挂了电话马上拨给龙一却不通
无敌紧张的
赶快写了简讯给他要他回电话
过后又试着打给他
接通了

我却不知道该问些什么
车严重损伤
人脚受伤了
担心
真的担心

中二就认识了龙一
总是对我很好
尤其今年来到了kl
他几乎天天都打来陪着我
回新山也会见我
带我出去吃好吃的
去玩
我好像又多了一个哥哥
被疼的感觉是爽的

现在他出事了真的很希望自己能赶回去看他
唉。。。
保重亲爱的
希望你会没事

2007-09-12T02:19:00.000-07:00

hv thousand words to write..
now..
this moment..
but i need to write in chinese.. lol..

haha..
i know my english tak boleh pakai..
haha..
so..
just one word then..

emo..

2007-09-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

days without my laptop were awfully bad..
had nth to do but sleep, eat and sleep..
such 'productive days' i had..
and my poor roomie..
she had worse days..
cut her toe..
and.. aih.. long story..
well back to me..
damn damn damn broke..
cant imagine how am i going to survive wit 100 bucks this month..
anyone has any lobang?
desperately need a job right now..

and yeah..
finally
i guess everything has come to the end..
we re all now leading our own lifes.
and mine.. werent reli good..
trials in the corner..
stupid xxxxx forever busy..
sisters in jb enjoying themselves.. lol..
and i..
am here..
alone...

sometimes i reli do feel lonely..
after all had happen btw me and jeff...
i m now alone..
esther is busy wit her bf all the time..
and me..
i donno why but i reli felt lonely most of the time..
i hope i hv a sister or a brother which is not so much older than me..
at least i hv someone to tok to when i am emo..
frens.. they will always be frens and would hv their own life..
so.. do cherish who u hv now.. a sister or a brother..
that explains why i depend on my bf so much..
oh gosh...
i need someone wit me right now!!!!

2007-09-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

this would be the last post..
rmb i said i was going to send my laptop back?
today.. tonight.. it's the day..
daddy will be here in few hours time
and i shall say good bye to my laptop
sad........
cant update my blog so often then..
might be bored to dead..
lol..

don worry..
im jia ni, i'm sure i'll hv sth else to do..
sth more meaningful than blogging here
wasting my time online..
checking out weird ppl that appears in friendster..
yea...
so..
gd luck to me then..
hope after sending my BABY home, my results would be better.
trials is like in 2 weeks time and i'm so unready yet..
just the right time to send my laptop ..

sad sad sad...
lol..
ik..
enough of my craps..
will try to update as soon as i hv the chance..
=)

2007-09-03T02:24:00.000-07:00

ok...
whr have i been when i am suppo to use the 3 days weekend to study for psychology??
i SECRETLY when back to jb.. wit master kok.. by his damn cool car..
then i spent my night in sinyee's place..
had nice dinner. and hang out a bit wit yening..

saturday..
went to foonyew 4 for a volleyball match.. under 20

i personally think that the team was not doing as well as they did on saturday.
and the whole team was actually not as bad as i thought it would be.
and i seriuously thought that the fact that they had won in the second set of the finals was definitely not an accident..
they were good.. and the score would not be so close if they were really bad..

so after the match i spent the whole day wit ziwang..
went to perling to sit for his test
then stulang for my long lost kuey tiao kia,
then back home to daya..

basically..
i i had a wonderful time in jb this weekend..
nice ppl, nice food, catch up with my sisters,
met routian..
no clubbing tho. hehe.. don worry ..
i'm not obssesed wit clubbing i was glad i din go last saturday or it would hv ruin my beautiful weekend. hehe.. no clubbing for me for the time being.. weehee!!!!
and the highlight of my weekend was the day when i drove in jb.. hahaha.. and the bus..

2007-08-29T02:03:00.000-07:00

那天梦见了她
她躺着生病了
我要帮她
却什么也做不了
她痛苦的样子。。历历在目
她从不曾抱怨自己有多辛苦
只因为不想让我们担心

她爱喝咖啡
总爱说冲杯热热的咖啡让我喝吧
爱吃芒果布丁
会说，冰箱里是不是有黄黄色的那个啊？
炸香蕉吃了就发热
可是会给我钱要我去买

没有想到
她不在了
我是那么的想念她。。。

您好吗？
阿婆。。。。

2007-08-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

2007-08-28T03:53:00.000-07:00

anyone misses me??
hehe..
i'm in the web now..
no connection at home you see...
and..
wanted to check my friendster but
maintainence...
then.. i'm so lazy to do anything now..
i shouldnt hv go back to jb
spent so much money..
and time.. doing nonsense with ying zhen.. hehe..
but
i met mr lim.. hehe..
wat a night.. =)
and zhi qi..
miss her so much..
but ms liteng was busy when i was back in jb..
and sinyee was not around..
sad.. i din get to see them..
aih..
not reli in the mood to update..
but.. yea.. will update some other time..

2007-08-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

如果时间能停止
我要
那一刻在你的怀抱
那一刻我们十指紧扣
那一刻那一个吻
那一刻你的眼神
那一刻你说你喜欢我
那一刻。。。。。
那一刻。。。。。
假如不曾发生
这一切都是一场梦
就算时间能停留又怎样
这只是我小小的梦。。。。
梦。。。
幻想。。。

2007-08-15T04:42:00.000-07:00

纳闷
为什么他总是不明白
我曾经是那么的爱他
离开不完全因为另一个他
要离开需要多大的勇气
他知道吗？

2007-08-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

for your information..
i am having my one week sch holidays next week..
then..
my lap top would be at home till next year.
home as in JB house..
coz it's just too distracting!!

i've got back all my common test 3 papers and yea.. just as expected.
did very badly.
and bio.. reli reli reli broke my heart..
just.. sad.. and even ms param had to tell me to get back on track and tell me not to be too sad. i guess.. i've just gave her a big shock of her life..

and lecturers have been telling us the same old thing..
trials is in one month time
u better work hard or u would regret
or this is the last few months for u to go all out for it..

darn.. stress
stress
stress
stress
stres
stress
stress

so.. i've decided to send my lap top home
that means
less pic up loaded..
less entries for my blog..
and.. no more chit chating on msn
k i know i seldom chat wit u guys oso.. haha..
but stil..
life without msn?? friendster and google and stupid chain mails that scare u out of hell..
i just cant imagine
but hopefully
wihtout all these
my results would be EXCELLENT!!yea!!!
haha..
so motivated to work hard now
so don fucking tell me that it wont work if i send my lap top back..
at least i am trying to get good results.
i need motivation..

so friends within ths week
tell me i can do it!!!
haha..

k..
need to get some sleep ..
nightz...

2007-08-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

hmm..
second entry of the day..
some photos that i've nvr posted..

2007-08-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

if i am not mistaken,
the first time i was involved in a blood danation activity
i was in secondary sch..
form 1 or 2..
i was even counting when i could donate my bloood.
i always thought it was a great thing to do..
to donate ur blood to somebody who needs it.
you wont lose anything from doing this dont u??

years come and go and i was waiting for my 18th bday then i could donate my blood.
doing sth meaningful
then when the blood donation team came to college in march
i went and they told me i had flu
so i cant do that
i was kinda disappointed but at the same time
relief...

then the second time,
in subang parade
i did not hv the courage to do that.
i was scared...

so am i reli that generous and fearless??
i donno..
i tot i could donate my blood without hestitating
but the truth proves that
no..
i am a chicken
a chicken that just talks crap and never do anything at all..
chicken..
haha..

ytd..
the team was back again
and this time,
i told myself
stop acting like a coward.
i've been acting like a clown in front of all the taylors fellows..
wat's so big deal about donating ur blood
and nobody whould even laugh at u if u were to donate ur blood
which would eventually come back..
new blood cells are gd for health!!
haha..

so.......
shereeen that had went ytd acc me to the staff lounge..
i was filling up the form and even had the thought of running away..
when i was measuring the blood pressure,
i was hoping that it would be too low so i don hv to donate..
bloody hell
everything was ok...................
shit..

so i had to sit on that cold looking chair.
i feel like i am sick when i sat on it..
but seriously
i am fine..
haha..

so the injection and all took less than 15 mins.
and then i was sitting in ac having my lunch
my blood some how pump so fast that it din took long
and thank god
the nurse found the right vein so i don hv to go through the niddle again..
haha..

am glad that i took the first step
promise promise promise that i would try to donate every 3 months..
it wasnt as painful as i thought..
bikini waxing was far worse..
haha..
so...
yea..
do donate ur blood..
=)

2007-08-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

i swear!
i wil never ever get myself drunk

1. i am fat. i don wanna let ppl carry me and complaint about how fat i am
2. i hate the fact that everyone had to wait for me while i am vomiting
3. the feel of vomting makes me cry.
4. the smell............. need more to say??
5. ppl dissed u when they know u cant drink
6. ppl have to clean up for u and the might see ur private part or accidentally/purposely touch ur boobs without u noticing
7. i donno wat i will do when i am drunk.. might be doing some weird nonsense. and i care bout my reputation. haha..
8. i hate ppl that get drunk and i don wanna hate myself
9. i wanna walk out of the club straight and look as gd as i have just came in
10. i just hate getting drunk..

2007-08-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

met up wit bro today
he was worried..
about mum
she thinks im not taking care of myself
i don care about her feelings and my future..
i do care about her
i do love her
and i care for my future..
it's just tat
i m lost..
i donno wat to do..
i dono wat i want
i dono myself..
i reli don

i spent so much money on clothes and expensive food
clothes are invetment for me..
but food..
i reli don like to spend on expensive food
eventhough i always love food
but i don think it's necessary..
oh man..
but sometimes, u just cant do anything about it..
ething's bday, we went to tgi friday and i spent around 60
and drinks like cocktail cost a bom!!
starbucks, coffe bean, sushi..
ggosh..
these food taste like heaven
but somehow.. after that the guilt comes and make u feel like hell
haha..
aih..............
i had to say gd bye to my heaven-taste food..
coz i am soooooooooooo broke!!
haha..
soo this month,
i will be living on tuna, bread, yogurt, milk and cereal and fruits!!
healthy food
and at the same time i can go on diet
ahahah..
lose so,me pounds and save some money on shopping!!!
great!!
haha..
till then....

2007-08-03T07:39:00.001-07:00

i miss William Koay Ting Cheng!!!!

he made me do this..........
hehe..

2007-08-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

2007-08-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

extremely insanely TIRED..
had two hours of sleep the day before yesterday and yesterday 4 hours!!!
i m so so so tired...
tired of everything..
i need a break......................

*a few entries that i've wrote half way and decided to leave it that way...
will post with this entry..

2007-07-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

emo again..
suppose to be a happy day but yea..i am happy
and tired...
must be pms-ing now..
oh well..
we had charity day today..
the gals danced and nicholas.. was AWESOME!! hehe..
and a few bi_ches made me so happy. coz they were like hmm.. not naked but u can see their CUTE bras.. haha.. *thank god i don have to do that to get attraction from guys*
and we collected like 300++ for the day.. i tot it was gd considering that we did not spent a cent on anything at all... just lots and lots of practise..
will post up some of the pics soon..
it takes forever to upload the pictures, thus making me lazy to do so..
damn connection...
and yeah..
i enjoyed my day
had asam fish and yong tau fu for dinner..
and ms ng bought us lunch as well..

2007-07-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

sorry peeps..
shouldnt hv just left my last post there and made everyone worry.
i am fine..
just needed some attention..
haha..
oh well..
time flies recently..
and i am reli tired..
not been sleeping well.. or should i say not enough sleep these few weeks..
coz of.... many many reasons..
haha..
we had to prepare for CHARITY DRIVE next week..
and yeah.. still working on the posters.. should be able to see them next monday..
hmm..
nothing much to write coz i am so tired.. haha..
slept at 8 ++ ealier and went for supper..
still.. i am sleepy.. haha..
wat a pig..
nightz..
u too have a gd night.. =)

2007-07-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

i am fine..
reli fine..
just need some time..
need a break from everyone.

2007-07-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

haha..
first i am a bitch then i am a fucker..
the whole break up thing seems to be all my fault..
haha..
maybe i am to blame the most but y make things ugly after we break up?
it is a fact that he wasnt gd to me before this..
it is a fact that i told him that i wanted to make things right
it is a fact that i dumped him coz i gave up in him
i tried and tried and i am tired of trying
and when i gave up on him.
he thinks i am not giving him a chance..

life is so fair
u fall in love wit someone
try hard to make someone love u the way you wan
start crying when they tell u don be so sensitive
u never cyr so much in ur life
and everytime u cry u feel your heart torn apart
then he'll tell u.. BE STRONG and stop crying over small stuff
he's everythign to u and u can do everything for him
you'll do wateva he says and eventually u become another person
then u start to wonder if this is the real you..
no.. it's not.. and you do feel sad when he doesnt say he loves you
he doens hold your hand and he's not there when u needed him the most..
u get fed up of things and u will try to break up
but u just cant live without him
the second time,
you succeed.
then he'll tell the whole world that he loves you so much and u din even look back..
and you?? you'll just listen to what he says because you feel guilty
then u let him break ur heart even when u know deep down inside,
u still love him.. a little.. just a little..
u feel sad when u see he cries
u feel hurt when he call u a fucker..
u just get hurt and still ppl thinks that its all your fault..
life is so fair..

2007-07-23T07:28:00.001-07:00

·$#FF8040dhanish says:
damn scary la...
·$#FF8040dhanish says:
haha...
jyn♥jiani says:
no la
jyn♥jiani says:
she got bf
jyn♥jiani says:
and i just broke up
jyn♥jiani says:
and my ex is trying to be my best fren
jyn♥jiani says:
and the one i like ignore me
jyn♥jiani says:
is tat ok?
jyn♥jiani says:
and i screw up my math paper
jyn♥jiani says:
my mum cried coz she's upset with me
jyn♥jiani says:
my dad thinks im bull ting
jyn♥jiani says:
u think tat's fine???

You have just sent a nudge.

·$#FF8040dhanish says:
damn bored...
·$#FF8040dhanish says:
haix...