Thursday, May 29, 2008
this is me. Jyn. this is sth just for u.
u may not know that i've wrote this to u and u may not see this. ever.
but somehow. i feel i have to tell u about my feelings.
it was great knowing u. it was great to be wit u.
every time i think of all those little things that u said to me.
all those little things u've done for me.
and all those moments of us together.
all those kissing and hugging.
i felt like i was in love again.
u meant so much to me.
u still do..
coz i cant seem to let it go
it was all so unbelievably fabulous.
you and i.
i was unbelievable
u were fabulous.
but it wasnt great at all when u tell me that u donno if u will love me.ever.
it wasnt great at all when u tell me u somehow didnt feel anything for me all of a sudden.
and i felt like shit when u said all u thought of was if i was going to call u. instead of i miss u.
i knew i had to make a decision.
i know i was selfish . because i don wanna get hurt in the end.
eventho it was so hard.
i had to go. coz i was a chicken.
love takes courage. but i wasnt brave enough.
then i left.
here came another guy.
and he left.
i was left alone again.
i saw u.
i thought of u.
i talked about u. all the time.
and i realise.
i finally realise. i have been hurting u.
all this time.
i broke up wit u.
and. i called u ignorant and stupid.
i was mean to u.
i am sorry.
i really am.
i just wanted u to know that i have move on.
that i can still be ur fren.
coz i wan to.
but i didnt realise that what i did, what i said.
it was so harsh.
it did hurt didnt it?
will u ever tell anyone it hurt?
will u ever mention it to anyone how u feel?
u used to tell me everything about u.
u believed in me.
u trusted me.
and i've shattered ur dreams.
the last gal. u said.
there will be no one else.
now that i realise ive hurt u so much.
i donno what to do
what to say.
coz u wont admit even if u do.
or maybe u really don gv a shit about it.
if i did hurt u.
i am sorry
i really am.
i am sorry.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
' thanks hunny. u drive carefully. i love u.'
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
i tried to change my blogskin
and it ended up looking like shit.
might change to the other blog..
coz i hate the skin and it cannot be undo.
guys ive lost all my blog links..
pls just leave in the tag box.
wit ur name and link.
shit shit shit
shit happens all the time..
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
just changed my blog skin..
but i like it coz the writing is so big now.. hehe..
i am not gonna change it until i feel like it.
finally free from my assignments.
we re pretty lost when we hv no idea what to do.
exam is in a month time
and a crazy 2200words of assignment due on the same time..
guess i shld start woking on it soon..
hv a nice weekend peeps~~
apparently it's Malaysia version of America's next top model .i didnt really watch the series and everything.
but i was just looking at it's official website.
and was browsing through some of the episodes.
then i realise.
it's been so long since i last listen to ppl speaking in Malaysian-accent eng.
with all the 'la', 'lo', 'and-then-hor', etc..
not trying to be critic or anything
just that my frens and i were talking about this accent thing.
we re now picking up all the aussie accent.
and it felt so weird when i listen to them again.
i rmb when i first came here.
my frens- aussie couldnt really understand what i was saying. because of the accent.
then. after 3.. tHree months of practise. not tree..
i am finally speaking proper english and still find it hard to express myself some
of the times.
about the 3..
when i was back in msia
i was so used to pronounce it as TREE..
then there was once, a fren of mine from UK was making fun of me.
he was like to me, JYN is tHRee. with the H.. not tree..
i tried to correct it so many times but it didnt really go well.
and i thought no one would notice.
yoshi came to me and said, JYN, is tHRee..
then came Justin and Kevin...
it was pretty embarassing when that happened.
and i realised i probably should really think about pronouncing it correctly.
so now i am able to pronounce THREE.. hahaa..
okok.. cut the crap.
the point is.
when re we
going to start speaking in proper english?
the others cant bloody understand what we are saying??!!
and some of us are so proud with the fact that we speak our own language- in our own accent-
ok ok ..
the thing is.
speaking proper proeper english is so important than u can imagine.
it's not about ur so-called TRUE MALAYSIANIDENTITY
it's more of sth that communication is so important among everyone.
and the thing is.
i do not deny the fact that how serious is the racism prob in aus.
and not speaking in proper english is just going to increase the discrimination among ASIAN!
so i was working.
takng orders the other day.
and this customer.
they were all speaking in the old-fashioned type of aussie eng.
he ordered for a lemonade * see i cant even spell it*
i don even knw what the hell was that and i was like what?? pardon?
and he started yelling at me!
SPRITE! don u know what's SPRITE?
from that moment onwards
i wll nvr ever forget what's lemonade and also
i will nvr ever forget how he yelled at me..
it was so fucking rude and that was the first time i felt like an idiot.
it was as if i am a fucking asian that don fucking understand english.
it was from then onwards.
i told myself. speak proper english!
i hate it when they stare at you as if u re some freak.
these aussies claimed that we-ASIAN have invaded their teritory.
we should get our ass back to CHINA.
these smart asses thinks all asian come from CHINA.
and when u tell them you re malaysian
they think you re a MALAY...
how smart is tat?
am just really annoyed with the fact that how racist ppl can be?
i rmb asking dad once,
why is it that the white are always known as the strongest among all races but not black or
yellow or brown?
why does the white always get all the privillege?
when we see them we looked at them as god.. we salute them we follow whatever they do.
but when it comes to us. we are just some stupid asian that's just so cheap.
when will all these questions be answered?
maybe there is no answer?
maybe GOD is not being fair to everyone afterall?
it's time for us to take racism seriously.
it's time for us to learn from critics. and improve ourselves.
but not trying to shut ppl who re giving critics up.
critics are not so bad afterall..
Sunday, May 18, 2008
sex and the city!