it's time to get a new blog.
coz i hate this one.
hate the skin
cant change it.
damn.
so..
yes.

new blog.

www.jynjiani.blogspot.com

hey u.

this is me. Jyn. this is sth just for u.
u may not know that i've wrote this to u and u may not see this. ever.
but somehow. i feel i have to tell u about my feelings.

it was great knowing u. it was great to be wit u.
every time i think of all those little things that u said to me.
all those little things u've done for me.
and all those moments of us together.
all those kissing and hugging.
i felt like i was in love again.
u meant so much to me.
u still do..
coz i cant seem to let it go

it was all so unbelievably fabulous.
the relationship
you and i.
i was unbelievable
u were fabulous.

but it wasnt great at all when u tell me that u donno if u will love me.ever.
it wasnt great at all when u tell me u somehow didnt feel anything for me all of a sudden.
and i felt like shit when u said all u thought of was if i was going to call u. instead of i miss u.

and then.
i knew i had to make a decision.
i know i was selfish . because i don wanna get hurt in the end.
eventho it was so hard.
i had to go. coz i was a chicken.
love takes courage. but i wasnt brave enough.

then i left.
here came another guy.
and he left.
i was left alone again.

then
i saw u.
i thought of u.
i talked about u. all the time.
to everyone.

and i realise.
i finally realise. i have been hurting u.
all this time.

i broke up wit u.
another guy.
and. i called u ignorant and stupid.
i was mean to u.
i am sorry.
i really am.

i just wanted u to know that i have move on.
that i can still be ur fren.
coz i wan to.
but i didnt realise that what i did, what i said.
it was so harsh.
it did hurt didnt it?

will u ever tell anyone it hurt?
will u ever mention it to anyone how u feel?

u used to tell me everything about u.
everything.
u believed in me.
u trusted me.
and i've shattered ur dreams.
the last gal. u said.
there will be no one else.

now that i realise ive hurt u so much.
i donno what to do
what to say.
coz u wont admit even if u do.
or maybe u really don gv a shit about it.

anyway
if i did hurt u.
i am sorry
i really am.

i am sorry.

*unbelievably fabulous*

i miss the sushine!!

i was browsing through my pictures and i saw this one!!
this was taken in gold coast.
the sun makes me smile!!

cant wait to go home to see my sunshine in msia!!

爱是什么？
什么时候爱的价值变得那么廉价？

你说你爱我？！
不是不愿相信只是爱得有点早。。
因为质疑所以不信

短短的两天里你能勇敢地说我爱你吗？
我做不到

曾经有一次跟一个交往不到两天的对象
他开车把我送到了车站
说再见的时候
' thanks hunny. u drive carefully. i love u.'
是。
我爱你就不经意地脱口而出
接下来的几个小时都在懊恼要怎么向他解释

朋友
对我真的很重要
当我说我爱你
我想说谢谢你
我真的很感激有你在身旁
我真的感谢你在我需要的时候陪着我
我的我爱你是有价值的

而家人的爱
与其说是爱
不如说是一种责任
那种远远超过了爱的责任
这份爱有多重要？？
你一辈子都需要这份爱

男女之间的爱？
是不是太早了呢？
有多久没有真心地说我爱你了？
我真的不知道
我知道甚至是我喜欢你
都需要很大的勇气。。

因为了解了爱的定义
所以变得很沉重
不得轻易说出

你爱谁呢？

i googled one night stand. and this is what it was shown.

yeap yeap yeap..

jyn is gonna talk bout one night stand tonight..

hehe..

hv u ever had one night stand?

have u ever kissed a random in a club?

hv u ever found urself drunk in someone else's arm?

nope nope nope.

other than the fact that i was once kissed by some guy i met from the club, but i pushed him away. eventho i found out he was so hot later on. ahaha..

anyway..

in any condition at all.

i will not say yes to any of the above.

first of all.

to me,

kissing is sth very very intimate.

it is sth really special to me.

i've seen ppl kissing in a club.

and they were just kissing gd bye.

it was just their way of 'communication'.

it is not just kiss on the cheeks.

it's french kiss.

it's the type of kiss only for the one u like.

i wonder how they do it.

i probably feel disgusted kissing someone random.

i rmb,

i felt disgusted when i hv to share a drink or a towel with my fren.

but i feel it was ok if i share a towel with my bf..

and kissing is the same to me..

it's just sth tat's too personal..

when there is no kissing

don even talk about having one night stand.

i hv frens that do that.

arent they afraid of std?

and what if the gal they re fucking are bad kisser?

what if they suck on bed?

sex is sth so.. so.. so... much more special than anything else.

it is meant for ppl with feelings. not just randoms..

and pls.

drunk is not a gd excuse at all.

i always think that no matter how drunk u re.

it is not possible that u wont rmb a thing at all..

no matter how drunk u re.

u re always still be able to think. use ur brain.

u gotta be self-discipline.

to control ur urge for a kiss or sex.

pls ppl.

use ur brain.

it's just an excuse when u say u cant think.

it's just an excuse for them to take advantage of u.

hv u ever watched knocked up??

she got pregnant because of one nigth stand

and in reality,

fairy tales will not happen.

there will nvr be happily ever after.

especially a guy that is sooo bad quality.

pls.

don even try to come near me if u look like shit.

yes.

i am very very particular about looks

u can call me a bitch or whatever u like.

but if i think i don like how u look.

we will only be frens.

just frens.

don even think of holding me in ur arms

anyway.

if i was pregnant

i would rather hv an abortion

a baby of a stranger??

hell no!!

the consequences are just to serious for me to do anything stupid.

what if he is a married man and u din know?

what if he is a AIDS carrier?

std?

no no no no no..

think ppl

think..

eventho abortion is an option

but trust me.

it's not gonna be fun at all...

think

think

think.

vivian

re u proud of me?

i went clubbing once the week before last.

din go last week

and might not go this week..

i kept my promise..

=)

shit.
i tried to change my blogskin
and it ended up looking like shit.
might change to the other blog..
coz i hate the skin and it cannot be undo.
damn..

so..
guys ive lost all my blog links..
pls just leave in the tag box.
wit ur name and link.

shit shit shit
shit happens all the time..

SHIT!
just changed my blog skin..
'sibeh' red..
lol..
but i like it coz the writing is so big now.. hehe..
anyway..
i am not gonna change it until i feel like it.

hmm...
finally free from my assignments.
then again,
we re pretty lost when we hv no idea what to do.

so..
exam is in a month time
and a crazy 2200words of assignment due on the same time..
guess i shld start woking on it soon..

hv a nice weekend peeps~~

home sweet home.

here i come!!

1ST JULY

so i came across this show recently.

it's call MALAYSIAN DREAMGIRL

and..

apparently it's Malaysia version of America's next top model .

i didnt really watch the series and everything.


but i was just looking at it's official website.



and was browsing through some of the episodes.



then i realise.


it's been so long since i last listen to ppl speaking in Malaysian-accent eng.


with all the 'la', 'lo', 'and-then-hor', etc..


not trying to be critic or anything


just that my frens and i were talking about this accent thing.


we re now picking up all the aussie accent.


and it felt so weird when i listen to them again.



i rmb when i first came here.


my frens- aussie couldnt really understand what i was saying. because of the accent.


then. after 3.. tHree months of practise. not tree..


i am finally speaking proper english and still find it hard to express myself some


of the times.



about the 3..


when i was back in msia


i was so used to pronounce it as TREE..


then there was once, a fren of mine from UK was making fun of me.


he was like to me, JYN is tHRee. with the H.. not tree..


i tried to correct it so many times but it didnt really go well.


and i thought no one would notice.


then..


yoshi came to me and said, JYN, is tHRee..


then came Justin and Kevin...




it's T-HHHH-REE

so..


it was pretty embarassing when that happened.


and i realised i probably should really think about pronouncing it correctly.


lol..


so now i am able to pronounce THREE.. hahaa..



okok.. cut the crap.



the point is.


when re we


going to start speaking in proper english?


the others cant bloody understand what we are saying??!!


and some of us are so proud with the fact that we speak our own language- in our own accent-


WTF?!!

polictics is a too sensitive of a issue to be disscuss here.

so...

ok ok ..

the thing is.

speaking proper proeper english is so important than u can imagine.

it's not about ur so-called TRUE MALAYSIANIDENTITY

it's more of sth that communication is so important among everyone.

and the thing is.

i do not deny the fact that how serious is the racism prob in aus.

and not speaking in proper english is just going to increase the discrimination among ASIAN!

so i was working.

takng orders the other day.

and this customer.

they were all speaking in the old-fashioned type of aussie eng.

he ordered for a lemonade * see i cant even spell it*

i don even knw what the hell was that and i was like what?? pardon?

and he started yelling at me!

SPRITE! don u know what's SPRITE?

from that moment onwards

i wll nvr ever forget what's lemonade and also

i will nvr ever forget how he yelled at me..

it was so fucking rude and that was the first time i felt like an idiot.

it was as if i am a fucking asian that don fucking understand english.

it was from then onwards.

i told myself. speak proper english!

i hate it when they stare at you as if u re some freak.

these aussies claimed that we-ASIAN have invaded their teritory.

we should get our ass back to CHINA.

these smart asses thinks all asian come from CHINA.

and when u tell them you re malaysian

they think you re a MALAY...

how smart is tat?

anyway.

am just really annoyed with the fact that how racist ppl can be?

i rmb asking dad once,

why is it that the white are always known as the strongest among all races but not black or

yellow or brown?

why does the white always get all the privillege?

when we see them we looked at them as god.. we salute them we follow whatever they do.

but when it comes to us. we are just some stupid asian that's just so cheap.

when will all these questions be answered?

maybe there is no answer?

maybe GOD is not being fair to everyone afterall?

maybe.

it's time for us to take racism seriously.

it's time for us to learn from critics. and improve ourselves.

but not trying to shut ppl who re giving critics up.

critics are not so bad afterall..

这个月应该是我这辈子最疯狂的一个月吧！
不经意的会想起跟他们的时光
说是放不下不如说是特别的回忆

那个最初的感动
那个一点一滴的回忆
真的让我好希望时间就这样的停止。

真的不是放不下
因为知道是不同世界的人
因为知道是没有未来的日子

只是那一首歌
让我想起了他

每一字每一句都是我们的回忆
从前的日子回不去了
未来的我们有太大的差异

听说了他差点又撞祸了
真的了解
我们不一样
差太多了

我不会在回忆里徘徊太久
因为未来的日子还很长
我又太多的梦想要实现
不能让回忆耽误了

而另外一个他
虽然短暂却不曾后悔
他还是最完美的
一直都是

或许再也不会见面了
可是他让我知道
白马王子是存在的

我知道
不是只有一个
我相信会有另一个他

突然觉得我疯了
19岁的小女生
担心什么
哈哈哈哈哈

19岁原来 可以那么疯
年轻啊！
年轻！

把握青春吧
家旎。。。。

我一直都认为
以后我老了
对着儿孙
我会有说不完的故事

奶奶我以前阿。。。。。。
哇！ 多疯狂的日子啊！
呵呵呵。。。
****************************

气死我了
assignment 好像永远都做不完

这个交了后
我要给他玩个够！
靠！！

heroes..
death note..
sex and the city!
等着吧！ 我来了。。。

*****************************

我要回家啦~~~~~
想念大家。。

做功课去了！

大家加油吧！